Editing Professional Widow

{{Short description|1996 single by Tori Amos}}
{{More citations needed|date=February 2020}}
{{Use mdy dates|date=October 2022}}
{{Infobox song
| name       = Professional Widow
| cover      = ToriAmos-ProWidow-USscan.jpg
| alt        =
| type       = single
| artist     = [[Tori Amos]]
| album      = [[Boys for Pele]]
| released   = {{start date|1996|7|2}}
| recorded   =
| studio     =
* A church ([[Delgany]], Ireland)
* A Georgian house ([[County Cork]], Ireland)
| genre      =
| length     =
* 4:31 (album version)
* 8:08 (remix)
| label      =
* [[Atlantic Records|Atlantic]]
* [[East West Records|EastWest]]
| writer     = Tori Amos
| producer   = Tori Amos
| prev_title = [[Talula]]
| prev_year  = 1996
| next_title = [[Hey Jupiter]]
| next_year  = 1996
}}

"'''Professional Widow'''" is a song by the American singer-songwriter [[Tori Amos]], released on her third album, ''[[Boys for Pele]]'' (1996). It is a [[harpsichord]]-driven rock song with lyrics rumored to have been inspired by the American songwriter [[Courtney Love]]. 

"Professional Widow" was released as the album's third single on July 2, 1996, by [[Atlantic Records|Atlantic]] and [[East West Records|EastWest]], with [[Remix|remixes]] by the [[house music|house]] producers [[Armand van Helden]] and [[Marc Kinchen|MK]]. It reached number one on the US ''[[Billboard (magazine)|Billboard]]'' [[Dance Club Songs|Hot Dance Music/Club Play]] chart. In Italy, the original version peaked at number two in October 1996. An edited version of the Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix of "Professional Widow" was released as a [[A-side and B-side#Double A-side|double A-side]] single with "[[Hey Jupiter]]" in Europe and Australia. 

On December 30, 1996, van Helden's remix was released as a single in the UK as "'''Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)'''". It topped the [[UK singles chart]] in January 1997 and reached the top 20 in Finland, Iceland, Ireland and Norway. In 2022, ''[[Rolling Stone Australia Awards|Rolling Stone]]'' named the remix the 109th-greatest dance song.

==Lyrics==
"Professional Widow" is rumored to be about the American songwriter [[Courtney Love]], the widow of the [[Nirvana (band)|Nirvana]] songwriter [[Kurt Cobain]].<ref name=":0">{{Cite web |date=March 21, 2016 |title=11 diss tracks that are probably about Courtney Love |url=https://www.avclub.com/11-diss-tracks-that-are-probably-about-courtney-love-1798245734 |access-date=March 12, 2022 |website=[[The A.V. Club]] |language=en-us}}</ref> Love said she had never determined if she was the "professional widow" of the title.<ref name=":0" /> In 1996, Amos said she had never met Love and that the song was about her own experience and "the part of myself that's [[Lady Macbeth]]". In a 2003 television interview, when the host said the song was inspired by Love, Amos interrupted with "allegedly" and smiled.<ref name=":0" />

==Remix==
"Professional Widow" was remixed by the American DJ [[Armand van Helden]]. In Europe, the remix became more widely known than the original song.<ref name=":1">{{Cite news |last=Petridis |first=Alexis |author-link=Alexis Petridis |date=2023-08-17 |title=Tori Amos's 20 greatest songs – ranked! |language=en-GB |work=[[The Guardian]] |url=https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2023/aug/17/tori-amos-20-greatest-songs-ranked |access-date=2023-08-17 |issn=0261-3077}}</ref>

Van Helden said that Amos was contractually entitled to approve all remixes, and called to thank him when his became popular in Europe.<ref>{{cite magazine |date=December 14, 1996 |title=The Remix Hits of 1996 |url=https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1996/Music-Week-1996-12-14.pdf |archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/archive/20221009/https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1996/Music-Week-1996-12-14.pdf |archive-date=October 9, 2022 |url-status=live |page=36 |magazine=[[Music Week]] |access-date=October 7, 2021}}</ref> In a 1998 interview with ''[[Music & Media]]'', Amos said: "It did kick my ass a bit [...] I know what van Helden took and what he did and I think he did some very clever things [...] I loved the fact that he didn't try and retain that at all, he went completely to the other pole."<ref>{{cite magazine|title=Amos Adds Rhythm to Her Blues|last=Stratton|first=Sally|magazine=[[Music & Media]]|volume=15|issue=13|page=12|date=March 28, 1998}}</ref>

==Critical reception==
Scottish ''[[Aberdeen Press and Journal]]'' said "Professional Widow" as "excellent".<ref>''[[Aberdeen Press and Journal]]''. December 26, 1996. p. 8.</ref> Justin Chadwick from Albumism wrote in his retrospective review of ''[[Boys for Pele]]'', "Though much of the world is more familiar with the propulsive, dancefloor-filling Armand Van Helden remix of 'Professional Widow', its original incarnation featured here is noteworthy for its much-debated allusions to none other than [[Courtney Love]]."<ref>{{cite web|url=https://www.albumism.com/features/tribute-celebrating-25-years-of-tori-amos-boys-for-pele|date=January 18, 2021|first=Justin|last=Chadwick|title=Tori Amos' 'Boys for Pele' Turns 25 — Anniversary Retrospective|publisher=Albumism|access-date=February 3, 2022}}</ref> Neil Z. Yeung from [[AllMusic]] described it as a "powerful dose of industrial-piano ferocity that holds nothing back in its demands for peace, love, and a little something extra."<ref>{{cite web|first= Neil Z. |last= Yeung |title= Tori Amos – ''Boys for Pele'' |publisher= [[AllMusic]] |access-date= November 10, 2020 |url= https://www.allmusic.com/album/boys-for-pele-mw0000179033}}</ref> Paul Verna from ''[[Billboard (magazine)|Billboard]]'' named it a "highlight" of the album, viewing it as "searing" and "groove-heavy".<ref>{{cite magazine|first=Paul|last=Verna|title=Reviews & Previews: Albums|url=https://worldradiohistory.com/Archive-All-Music/Billboard/90s/1996/BB-1996-01-27.pdf |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20210121005851/https://worldradiohistory.com/Archive-All-Music/Billboard/90s/1996/BB-1996-01-27.pdf |archive-date=2021-01-21 |url-status=live|magazine=[[Billboard (magazine)|Billboard]]|date=January 27, 1996|page=105|access-date=November 21, 2022}}</ref> The Daily Vault's Sean McCarthy felt it's one of the most "straightforward" songs of the album.<ref>{{cite web|first= Sean |last= McCarthy |title= ''Boys For Pele'' – Tori Amos |publisher= The Daily Vault |date= February 18, 2005 |access-date= November 20, 2020 |url= http://dailyvault.com/toc.php5?review=2770}}</ref> Kevin Courtney from ''[[Irish Times]]'' declared it as "a mad [[Whirlpool|maelstrom]] of beats and harpsichord arpeggia, a sort of [[Portishead (band)|Portishead]] for the beaten generation".<ref>Courtney, Kevin (January 26, 1996). "Rock". ''[[Irish Times]]''.</ref> In a separate review of the remix, Courtney wrote, "Older fans of Tori's introspective balladeering will be bemused that their heroine now sounds like [[Stretch & Vern]]. Calling this a Tori Amos single is like describing "[[Money for Nothing (song)|Money for Nothing]]" as a [[Sting (musician)|Sting]] song, and the lady's sampled voice is just incidental to the handbag-heaving beat and bassline."<ref>Courtney, Kevin (January 10, 1997). "U2 go disco-tech". ''[[Irish Times]]''.</ref> 

Alan Jones from ''[[Music Week]]'' deemed the remix a "brilliant reworking"<ref>{{cite magazine|first= Alan |last= Jones |url= https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1996/Music-Week-1996-12-28.pdf |archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/archive/20221009/https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1996/Music-Week-1996-12-28.pdf |archive-date=October 9, 2022 |url-status=live |title= Talking Music |magazine= [[Music Week]] |date= December 28, 1996 |page= 17 |access-date= October 7, 2021}}</ref> that was "as different from the rest of the album as chalk is from cheese".<ref>{{cite magazine|first=Alan|last=Jones|url=https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1997/Music-Week-1997-02-08.pdf |archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/archive/20221009/https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1997/Music-Week-1997-02-08.pdf |archive-date=October 9, 2022 |url-status=live|title=Talking Music|magazine=[[Music Week]]|date=February 8, 1997|page=8|access-date=May 8, 2022}}</ref> Tim Jeffery from ''[[Record Mirror]]''{{'}}s Dance Update gave it five out of five, writing: "Needless to say, any lyrical subtlety has gone out of the window on this remixed package but that's not the point really. MK and Armand Van Helden pick and choose which of Tori's lines to chop up into bits and loop over their own music — Helden's is by far the most inventive with loads of strange synth sounds over a [[Bucketheads]]-style groove and a terrific atmospheric drop in the middle. A big club hit for sure but it'll be radio that decides this record's success or otherwise."<ref>{{cite magazine|url=https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1996/Music-Week-1996-06-15.pdf |archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/archive/20221009/https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1996/Music-Week-1996-06-15.pdf |archive-date=October 9, 2022 |url-status=live|first=Tim|last=Jeffery|title=Hot Vinyl|magazine=[[Music Week]], in [[Record Mirror]] (Dance Update Supplemental Insert)|date=June 15, 1996|page=9|accessdate=August 22, 2021}}</ref> Cynthia Joyce from ''[[Salon (website)|Salon]]'' noted that Amos' "penchant for abrupt endings and ad nauseam repetition; still surfaces on more experimental songs" like "Professional Widow".<ref>{{cite web|first= Cynthia |last= Joyce |title= AMOS 'N' RANDY |magazine= [[Salon (website)|Salon]] |access-date= August 9, 2020 |url= http://salon.com/05/reviews/tori.html |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20000903024759/http://salon.com/05/reviews/tori.html |url-status= dead |archive-date= September 3, 2000 }}</ref> Kevin Newman from ''[[Smash Hits]]'' named it the best track of the album with "[[Caught a Lite Sneeze]]", describing it as "more-[[Björk]]-than-Björk".<ref>{{cite magazine|first=Kevin|last=Newman|url=https://www.flickr.com/photos/57779449@N02/53175030571/in/album-72177720311069342/|title=Albums: Best New Album|magazine=[[Smash Hits]]|date=January 31, 1996|page=53|access-date=November 29, 2024}}</ref> In 2014, ''[[Stereogum]]'' ranked the song number 10 on their list of the 10 greatest Tori Amos songs,<ref>{{cite web|url=https://www.stereogum.com/1686765/the-10-best-tori-amos-songs/lists/|title=The 10 Best Tori Amos Songs|first=Jonathan|last=Dick|website=[[Stereogum]]|date=June 18, 2014|accessdate=September 1, 2023}}</ref> ''[[Mixmag]]'' featured it in their list of the best basslines in dance music in 2020,<ref>{{cite web|url=https://mixmag.net/feature/best-basslines-dance-music|title=The Best Basslines In Dance Music, According To You|magazine=[[Mixmag]]|date=May 7, 2020|access-date=October 16, 2024}}</ref> and in 2023, ''[[The Guardian]]'' ranked the song number five on their list of the 20 greatest Tori Amos songs.<ref>{{cite web|url=https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2023/aug/17/tori-amos-20-greatest-songs-ranked|title=Tori Amos's 20 greatest songs – ranked!|first=Alexis|last=Petridis|website=[[The Guardian]]|date=August 17, 2023|accessdate=September 1, 2023}}</ref> In 2022, ''[[Rolling Stone Australia Awards|Rolling Stone]]'' named the "Professional Widow" remix the 109th-greatest dance song.

==Music video==
A music video was made for the "Star Trunk Funkin' Mix", comprising clips from other Amos videos edited together. It is the only video from between 1991 and 1998 that does not appear on ''[[Tori Amos: Complete Videos 1991–1998]]''.

A live performance is featured on the ''[[Welcome to Sunny Florida]]'' DVD. It features Jon Evans on bass and [[Matt Chamberlain]] on drums, while Amos plays the piano. This version mutes the words "fucker" and "cock".

==Track listings==
{{col-begin}}
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===US "Professional Widow" single===
* '''Maxi-CD'''<ref>{{cite AV media notes|title=Professional Widow|others=[[Tori Amos]]|year=1996|type=US maxi-CD single liner notes|publisher=[[Atlantic Records]]|id=2-85499}}</ref>
# "Professional Widow" (LP mix) – 4:31
# "Professional Widow" ([[Armand Van Helden|Armand]]'s Star Trunk Funkin' mix) – 8:08
# "Professional Widow" ([[Mark Kinchen|MK]] mix) – 7:20
# "Professional Widow" (Just da Funk dub) – 3:44
# "Professional Widow" (MK Vampire dub) – 6:56
# "Professional Widow" (Armand's instrumental) – 5:35
# "Professional Widow" (bonus beats) – 4:31

* '''12-inch single'''<ref>{{cite AV media notes|title=Professional Widow|others=Tori Amos|year=1996|type=US 12-inch single sleeve|publisher=Atlantic Records|id=0-85499}}</ref>
:A1. "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' mix) – 8:08
:A2. "Professional Widow" (Just da Funk dub) – 3:44
:B1. "Professional Widow" (MK mix) – 7:20
:B2. "Professional Widow" (MK Vampire dub) – 6:56

==="Hey Jupiter" / "Professional Widow"===
* '''UK and Australian CD single'''<ref>{{cite AV media notes|title=Hey Jupiter / Professional Widow|others=Tori Amos|year=1996|type=UK & Australian CD single liner notes|publisher=[[East West Records|EastWest Records]]|id=A5494CD, 7567-85494-2}}</ref>
# "Hey Jupiter" (The Dakota version) – 6:03
# "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' mix radio edit) – 3:45
# "Sugar" (live) – 5:43
# "Honey" (live) – 4:19

* '''UK 12-inch single'''<ref>{{cite AV media notes|title=Hey Jupiter / Professional Widow|others=Tori Amos|year=1996|type=UK 12-inch single sleeve|publisher=EastWest Records|id=A5494T, 7567-85493-0}}</ref>
:A1. "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' mix) – 8:08
:B1. "Hey Jupiter" (The Dakota version) (radio edit) – 4:14
:B2. "[[Talula]]" ([[Brian Transeau|BT]]'s Synethasia mix) – 11:27

* '''UK cassette single'''<ref>{{cite AV media notes|title=Hey Jupiter / Professional Widow|others=Tori Amos|year=1996|type=UK cassette single sleeve|publisher=EastWest Records|id=A5494C}}</ref>
# "Hey Jupiter" (The Dakota version) – 6:03
# "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' mix radio edit) – 3:45
{{col-2}}

==="Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)"===
* '''UK CD single'''<ref>{{cite AV media notes|title=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|others=Tori Amos|year=1996|type=UK CD single liner notes|publisher=EastWest Records|id=A5450CD, 7567-85450-2}}</ref>
# "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' mix radio edit) – 3:45
# "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" (Mr Roy's 7-inch edit) – 3:47
# "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' mix) – 8:06
# "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" (Mr Roy's Cosmic Cottage mix) – 7:55
# "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" (Just da Funk dub) – 3:31

* '''UK 12-inch single'''<ref>{{cite AV media notes|title=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|others=Tori Amos|year=1996|type=UK 12-inch single sleeve|publisher=EastWest Records|id=A5450T, 7567-85451-0}}</ref>
:A1. "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" (Mr Roy's Cosmic Cottage mix) – 7:55
:A2. "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" (Mr Roy's 7-inch edit) – 3:47
:B1. "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' mix) – 8:06
:B2. "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" (Just da Funk dub) – 3:31

* '''UK cassette single'''<ref>{{cite AV media notes|title=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|others=Tori Amos|year=1996|type=UK cassette single sleeve|publisher=EastWest Records|id=A5450C, 7567-87038-4}}</ref>
# "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" (Mr Roy's 7-inch edit) – 3:47
# "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" (Armands Star Trunk Funkin' mix) – 8:06

* '''European maxi-CD single'''<ref>{{cite AV media notes|title=Professional Widow|others=Tori Amos|year=1996|type=European maxi-CD single liner notes|publisher=EastWest Records|id=7567-85478-9}}</ref>
# "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' mix radio edit) – 3:45
# "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' mix) – 8:08
# "Professional Widow" (MK mix) – 7:20
# "Professional Widow" (MK Vampire dub) – 6:56

* '''French maxi-CD single'''<ref>{{cite AV media notes|title=Professional Widow|others=Tori Amos|year=1996|type=French maxi-CD single liner notes|publisher=EastWest Records|id=7567-85445-9}}</ref>
# "Professional Widow" (Mr Roy's 7-inch edit) – 3:47
# "Professional Widow" (Mr Roy's Cosmic Cottage mix) – 7:55
# "Professional Widow" (Armands Star Trunk Funkin' mix) – 8:06
# "[[In the Springtime of His Voodoo]]" (Hasbrouck Heights club mix) – 10:00
{{col-end}}

==Credits and personnel==
Credits are lifted from the ''Boys for Pele'' album booklet. The album version includes the cry of a bull, which is credited as "bull" in the booklet.<ref>{{cite AV media notes|title=Boys for Pele|title-link=Boys for Pele|others=Tori Amos|year=1996|type=US CD album booklet|publisher=Atlantic Records|id=82862-2}}</ref>

'''Recording and production'''
* Recorded at a church ([[Delgany]], Ireland) and "a wonderfully damp Georgian house" ([[County Cork]], Ireland)
* Additionally recorded at The Egyptian Room and Dinosaur Studios (New Orleans, Louisiana)
* Mixed at Jacobs Studios ([[Surrey]], England), [[Mix This!]], and [[Record One]] (Los Angeles)
* Mastered at Gateway Mastering ([[Portland, Maine]])

'''Personnel'''
{{div col}}
* Tori Amos – writing, vocals, [[harpsichord]], [[Bösendorfer]], production
* Alan Friedman – drum programming
* [[George Porter Jr.]] – bass guitar
* [[Manu Katche]] – drums
* [[Steve Caton]] – guitar
* Bull – bull
* Mark Hawley – recording, mixing (coda)
* Marcel van Limbeek – recording, mixing (coda)
* Rob van Tuin – recording assistant
* [[Bob Clearmountain]] – mixing
* [[Ryan Freeland]] – mixing assistant
* [[Bob Ludwig]] – mastering
{{div col end}}

==Charts==
{{col-begin}}
{{col-2}}

===Weekly charts===
{|class="wikitable sortable plainrowheaders" style="text-align:center"
!Chart (1996–1997)
!Peak<br />position
|-
{{single chart|Australia|17|artist=Tori Amos|song=Hey Jupiter / Professional Widow|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020|note=with "[[Hey Jupiter]]"}}
|-
{{single chart|Austria|23|artist=Tori Amos|song=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
{{single chart|Flanders|22|artist=Tori Amos|song=Hey Jupiter / Professional Widow|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020|note=with "Hey Jupiter"}}
|-
{{single chart|Wallonia|22|artist=Tori Amos|song=Hey Jupiter / Professional Widow|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020|note=with "Hey Jupiter"}}
|-
{{single chart|Canadadance|11|chartid=9726|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
!scope="row"|Europe ([[European Hot 100 Singles|Eurochart Hot 100]])<ref>{{cite magazine|url=https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-and-Media/90s/1997/MM-1997-01-25.pdf |archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/archive/20221009/https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-and-Media/90s/1997/MM-1997-01-25.pdf |archive-date=October 9, 2022 |url-status=live|title=Eurochart Hot 100 Singles|magazine=[[Music & Media]]|volume=14|issue=4|page=23|date=January 25, 1997|access-date=February 23, 2020}}</ref>
|11
|-
{{single chart|Finland|16|artist=Tori Amos|song=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
{{single chart|France|35|artist=Tori Amos|song=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
{{single chart|Germany|38|artist=Tori Amos|song=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|songid=3380|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
!scope="row"|Iceland ([[Íslenski listinn|Íslenski Listinn Topp 40]])<ref>{{cite news|url=https://timarit.is/page/2951451#page/n1/mode/2up|title=Íslenski Listinn Topp 40 (NR. 209 Vikuna 20.2. '97 – 26.2. '97)|newspaper=[[Dagblaðið Vísir]]|language=is|page=16|date=February 21, 1997|access-date=July 11, 2018}}</ref>
|6 
|-
{{single chart|Ireland2|2|song=Professional Widow|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
!scope="row"|Italy (''[[Musica e dischi]]'')<ref>{{cite magazine|url=https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-and-Media/90s/1996/MM-1996-10-05.pdf |archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/archive/20221009/https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-and-Media/90s/1996/MM-1996-10-05.pdf |archive-date=October 9, 2022 |url-status=live|title=Top National Sellers|magazine=Music & Media|volume=13|issue=40|page=20|date=October 5, 1996|access-date=November 26, 2019}}</ref>
|2
|-
{{single chart|Dutch40|29|year=1996|week=45|rowheader=true|access-date=April 17, 2018}}
|-
{{single chart|Dutch100|33|artist=Tori Amos|song=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
{{single chart|Norway|17|artist=Tori Amos|song=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
{{single chart|Scotland|2|date=19970111|rowheader=true|access-date=April 17, 2018}}
|-
{{single chart|Sweden|40|artist=Tori Amos|song=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
{{single chart|Switzerland|22|artist=Tori Amos|song=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
{{single chart|UK|1|date=19970118|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
{{single chart|UKdance|1|date=19970111|rowheader=true|access-date=February 23, 2020}}
|-
{{single chart|Billboardbubbling100|8|artist=Tori Amos|rowheader=true|access-date=April 17, 2018}}
|-
{{single chart|Billboarddanceclubplay|1|artist=Tori Amos|rowheader=true|access-date=April 17, 2018}}
|-
{{single chart|Billboarddancesales|14|artist=Tori Amos|rowheader=true|access-date=July 1, 2021}}
|}
{{col-2}}

===Year-end charts===
{|class="wikitable plainrowheaders" style="text-align:center"
!Chart (1996)
!Position
|-
!scope="row"|UK Club Chart (''Music Week'')<ref>{{cite magazine|url=https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1997/Music-Week-1997-01-11.pdf |archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/archive/20221009/https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1997/Music-Week-1997-01-11.pdf |archive-date=October 9, 2022 |url-status=live|title=The ''RM'' Club Chart of the Year 96|magazine=[[Record Mirror]]|via=[[Music Week]]|page=8|date=January 11, 1997|access-date=May 4, 2022}}</ref>
|83
|-
!scope="row"|US Dance Club Play (''Billboard'')<ref>{{cite magazine|title=The Year in Music: Hot Dance Music Club Play Singles|magazine=Billboard|volume=108|issue=52|page=YE-44|date=December 28, 1996}}</ref>
|34
|}

{|class="wikitable sortable plainrowheaders" style="text-align:center"
!Chart (1997)
!Position
|-
!scope="row"|Australia (ARIA)<ref>{{cite web|url=https://www.aria.com.au/charts/1997/singles-chart|title=ARIA Top 100 Singles for 1997|publisher=[[Australian Recording Industry Association|ARIA]]|access-date=March 11, 2016}}</ref>
|65
|-
!scope="row"|Europe (Eurochart Hot 100)<ref>{{cite magazine|url=https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-and-Media/90s/1997/MM-1997-12-27.pdf |archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/archive/20221009/https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-and-Media/90s/1997/MM-1997-12-27.pdf |archive-date=October 9, 2022 |url-status=live|title=1997 Year-End Sales Charts: Eurochart Hot 100 Singles|magazine=[[Music & Media]]|volume=14|issue=52|page=7|date=December 27, 1997|access-date=December 20, 2019}}</ref>
|84
|-
!scope="row"|UK Singles (OCC)<ref>{{cite magazine|title=Top 100 Singles 1997|magazine=[[Music Week]]|page=27|date=January 17, 1998}}</ref>
|47
|}
{{col-end}}

==Certifications==
{{Certification Table Top}}
{{Certification Table Entry|region=Australia|type=single|relyear=1996|certyear=1997|award=Gold|access-date=February 23, 2020|note="Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)"}}
{{Certification Table Entry|region=United Kingdom|type=single|artist=Tori Amos|title=Professional Widow|relyear=1996|certyear=2021|award=Silver|id=17697-2202-1|access-date=December 10, 2021|refname="bpioriginal"|note="Professional Widow"}}
{{Certification Table Entry|region=United Kingdom|type=single|artist=Tori Amos|title=Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)|relyear=1996|certyear=1997|award=Silver|id=5223-3036-1|access-date=February 23, 2020|refname="bpiremix"|note="Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)"}}
{{Certification Table Bottom|nosales=true|streaming=true}}

==Release history==
{|class="wikitable plainrowheaders"
!scope="col"|Region
!scope="col"|Version
!scope="col"|Date
!scope="col"|Format(s)
!scope="col"|Label(s)
!scope="col"|{{abbr|Ref.|Reference}}
|-
!scope="row"|United States
|"Professional Widow"
|July 2, 1996
|CD
|[[Atlantic Records|Atlantic]]
|<ref>{{cite web|url=https://www.amazon.com/Professional-Widow-Tori-Amos/dp/B000002JIF|title=Professional Widow|year=1996 |publisher=[[Amazon (company)|Amazon]]|access-date=July 1, 2021}}</ref>
|-
!scope="row" rowspan="2"|United Kingdom
|"Hey Jupiter" / "Professional Widow"
|July 22, 1996
|rowspan="2"|{{hlist|12-inch vinyl|CD|cassette}}
|rowspan="2"|[[East West Records|EastWest]]
|<ref>{{cite magazine|url=https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1996/Music-Week-1996-07-20.pdf |archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/archive/20221009/https://worldradiohistory.com/UK/Music-Week/1996/Music-Week-1996-07-20.pdf |archive-date=October 9, 2022 |url-status=live|title=New Releases: Singles|magazine=[[Music Week]]|page=46|date=July 20, 1996|access-date=July 12, 2021}}</ref>
|-
|"Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)"
|December 30, 1996
|<ref name=bpi>{{cite web|url=http://i.imgur.com/ztoE1GH.jpg|title=BPI > Certified Awards > Tori Amos|publisher=[[British Phonographic Industry]]|access-date=March 11, 2016}}</ref>
|}

==See also==
* [[List of number-one dance singles of 1996 (U.S.)]]
* [[List of artists who reached number one on the U.S. dance chart]]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==External links==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20051119134202/http://hereinmyhead.com/collect/bfp/bfp5.html Professional Widow page at hereinmyhead.com]
* [http://www.amiright.com/misheard/song/professionalwidow.shtml Misheard lyrics of Professional Widow at Am I Right]

{{Tori Amos}}
{{Armand Van Helden}}
{{Authority control}}

[[Category:1996 songs]]
[[Category:1996 singles]]
[[Category:Tori Amos songs]]
[[Category:Atlantic Records singles]]
[[Category:East West Records singles]]
[[Category:Songs written by Tori Amos]]
[[Category:UK singles chart number-one singles]]