Editing Mily Balakirev (section)

==Personal life==
Balakirev apparently never married nor had any children since none are mentioned in biographical sources. In his earlier days he was politically liberal, a freethinker and an atheist; for a while, he considered writing an opera based on [[Nikolay Chernyshevsky|Chernishevsky]]'s [[Nihilism|nihilistic]] novel ''[[What Is to Be Done? (novel)|What is to Be Done?]]''.<ref>Trauskin, ''Stravinsky'', 71–3.</ref> For a while in the late 1860s he frequented a soothsayer to learn his fate with the Russian Musical Society. Rimsky-Korsakov wrote of these sessions, "Balakirev, who did not believe in God, became a believer in the Devil. The Devil brought it about that subsequently he came to believe in God too ... [T]he soothsaying ... cast a terror upon him".<ref>Rimsky-Korsakov, ''My Musical Life'', 108.</ref>

Following his breakdown, Balakirev sought solace in the strictest sect of [[Russian Orthodox Church|Russian Orthodoxy]],<ref name="maes45">Maes, 45.</ref> dating his conversion to the anniversary of his mother's death in March 1871.<ref name="cang 2511"/> The exact circumstances of that conversion are unknown, as no letters or diaries of his from this period have survived. Rimsky-Korsakov relates some of Balakirev's extremes in behavior at this point—how he had "given up eating meat, and ate fish, but ... only those which had died, never the killed variety"; how he would remove his hat and quickly cross himself whenever he passed by a church; and how his compassion for animals reached the point that whenever an insect was found in a room, he would carefully catch it and release it from a window, saying, "Go thee, deary, in the Lord, go!"<ref>Rimsky-Korsakov, ''My Musical Life'', 169–72.</ref> Balakirev lived as a recluse in a house filled with dogs, cats and religious icons.<ref name="zetlin236"/> The exception to this reclusiveness was the musical Tuesday evenings he held after his return to music in the 1870s and 80s. He also became a political reactionary and "xenophobic Slavophile who wrote hymns in honor of the dowager empress and other members of the royal family."<ref>Taruskin, ''Stravinsky'', 73.</ref>

Rimsky-Korsakov mentions that some of Balakirev's character traits were present before his conversion but became intensified afterward.<ref name="rk171">Rimsky-Korsakov, ''My Musical Life'', 171.</ref> This was true of his general intolerance of viewpoints other than his own, but especially so with his [[anti-Semitism]].<ref name="rk171"/> His attacks on Anton Rubinstein in the 1860s became petty and anti-Semitic,<ref name="maes39"/> and Jews were not admitted to the Free School during his earlier directorship.<ref>Taruskin, ''Stravinsky''.</ref>{{Page needed|date=September 2022}} However, it was after his conversion that he suspected everyone he disliked to be of Jewish origin, and that he hated the Jews in general because they had crucified Christ.<ref name="rk171"/> He became belligerent in his religious conversations with friends, insistent that they cross themselves and attend church with him.<ref>Rimsky-Korsakov, ''My Musical Life'', 171–2.</ref> "All this medley of Christian meekness, backbiting, fondness for beasts, misanthropy, artistic interests, and a triviality worthy of an old maid from a hospice, all these struck everyone who saw him in those days", Rimsky-Korsakov wrote, adding that these traits intensified further in subsequent years.<ref>Rimsky-Korsakov, ''My Musical Life'', 172.</ref>