Editing Shame (section)

== Subtypes of shame ==
=== Robert Karen's types of shame ===
Psychologist Robert Karen identified four categories of shame: existential, situational, class, and narcissistic. Existential shame occurs when we become self-aware of an objective, unpleasant truth about
ourselves or our situation. Situational shame is the feeling we have when violating an ethical principle, interpersonal boundary, or cultural norm. Class shame relates to social power and pertains to skin color, social class, ethnic background, and gender and occurs in societies that have rigid caste stratifications or disparate classes. Narcissistic shame occurs when our self-image and pride are wounded, affecting how we feel and think about ourselves as an individual, in contrast as a member of a group.<ref>Karen. R. (February 1992). "Shame", ''Atlantic Monthly'', 58</ref><ref>Lancer, D. (2014). ''Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You.'' Hazelden Foundation, pp. 10–11. {{ISBN|978-1-61649-533-6}}.</ref>

=== Joseph Burgo's shame paradigms ===
There are many different reasons that people might feel shame. According to Joseph Burgo, there are four different aspects of shame. He calls these aspects of shame paradigms.<ref>{{Cite book |last=Burgo |first=Joseph |title=Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem |publisher=St. Martin's Press |date=November 2018 |isbn=9781250151315 |location=New York |pages=56}}</ref>
* '''Unrequited love: "'''Unreciprocated love that causes yearning for more complete love."<ref name=":7">{{Cite journal |last1=Bringle |first1=Robert G. |last2=Winnick |first2=Terri |last3=Rydell |first3=Robert J. |date=2013-04-01 |title=The Prevalence and Nature of Unrequited Love |journal=SAGE Open |volume=3 |issue=2 |pages=215824401349216 |doi=10.1177/2158244013492160 |s2cid=146146550 |issn=2158-2440|doi-access=free |hdl=1805/15150 |hdl-access=free }}</ref>
* '''Unwanted exposure:''' Something personal that we would like to keep private is unexpectedly revealed, or when we make a mistake in [a] public [setting]."<ref name=":8">{{Cite web |title=How To Deal With Shame In The Workplace  |url=https://balance.media/shame-in-the-workplace/ |access-date= |website=balance.media|date=22 March 2024 }}</ref>
* '''Disappointed expectation: "'''The feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest."<ref name=":9">{{Cite journal |last=W. |first=F. E. |year=1932 |title=Taxation: Federal Instrumentalities: Exemption from State Tax |url=http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/1280547 |journal=Michigan Law Review |volume=31 |issue=1 |pages=137–138 |doi=10.2307/1280547 |jstor=1280547 |issn=0026-2234}}</ref>
* '''Exclusion:''' Being left out of connection or involvement with others or groups that we would like to belong to.<ref name=":10">{{Cite book |last=Burgo |first=Joseph |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=V6xvDwAAQBAJ&dq=joseph+burgo+unrequited+love&pg=PR9 |title=Shame : Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem |date=November 2018 |publisher=St. Martin's Press |isbn=978-1-250-15130-8 |edition=1st |location=New York |pages=27 |oclc=1016939846}}</ref>

In his first subdivision of shame he looks into is unrequited love; which is when you love someone but your partner does not reciprocate, or one is rejected by somebody that they like; this can be mortifying and shaming.<ref name=":7" /> Unrequited love can be shown in other ways as well. For example, the way a mother treats her new born baby. An experiment called "The Still Face Experiment" was done where a mother showed her baby love and talked to the baby for a set period of time. She then went a few minutes without talking to the baby. This resulted with the baby making different expressions to get the mother's attention. When the mother stopped giving the baby attention, the baby felt shame. According to research on unrequited love, people tend to date others who are similar in attractiveness, leaving those less attractive to feel an initial disappointment that creates a type of unrequited love in the person.<ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Baumeister |first1=Roy F. |last2=Wotman |first2=Sara R. |last3=Stillwell |first3=Arlene M. |date=March 1993 |title=Unrequited love: On heartbreak, anger, guilt, scriptlessness, and humiliation. |url=http://doi.apa.org/getdoi.cfm?doi=10.1037/0022-3514.64.3.377 |journal=Journal of Personality and Social Psychology |language=en |volume=64 |issue=3 |pages=377–394 |doi=10.1037/0022-3514.64.3.377 |issn=1939-1315}}</ref> The second type of shame is unwanted exposure. This would take place if you were called out in front of a whole class for doing something wrong or if someone saw you doing something you did not want them to see. This is what you would normally think of when you hear the word shame.<ref name=":8" /> Disappointed expectation would be your third type of shame according to Burgo. This could be not passing a class, having a friendship go wrong, or not getting a big promotion in a job that you thought you would get.<ref name=":9" /> The fourth and final type of shame according to Burgo is exclusion which also means being left out. Many people will do anything to just fit in or want to belong in society, e.g., at school, work, friendships, relationships, everywhere.<ref name=":10" />

=== Other subtypes ===
* '''[[Addiction shaming]]'''
* '''[[Age shaming]]'''
* '''[[Bottom shaming]]'''
* '''Genuine shame''': is associated with genuine dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation.<ref>{{Cite journal |last=Myers |first=Lin S. |date=2007-06-14 |title=A Review of: "Shame and Guilt" |url=http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/00926230701372124 |journal=Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy |volume=33 |issue=4 |pages=380–382 |doi=10.1080/00926230701372124 |issn=0092-623X}}</ref>
* '''False shame''': is associated with false condemnation as in the [[double bind]] form of false shaming; "he brought what we did to him upon himself". Author and TV personality [[John Bradshaw (author)|John Bradshaw]] calls shame the "emotion that lets us know we are finite".<ref>{{Citation |last= Bradshaw |first= John |title= Bradshaw on the Family: A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem |publisher= [[HCI Books|HCI]] |date=  1996 |isbn= 978-1-55874-427-1 |url= https://archive.org/details/bradshawonfamily00brad }}</ref>
* '''[[Fat shaming]]'''
* '''[[Femme shaming]]''''
* '''[[Food shaming]]'''
* '''Secret shame''': describes the idea of being ashamed to be ashamed, so causing ashamed people to keep their shame a secret.<ref>Gilligan, James (1997) ''Violence: Reflections on a National Epidemic'' Vintage Books, New York</ref> Psychiatrist James Gilligan discovered, while working as a prison psychiatrist, that violence is primarily caused by secret shame. Gilligan stated, "...so intense and so painful that it threatens to overwhelm him and bring about the death of the self, cause him to lose his mind, his soul, or his sacred honor"<ref>{{Cite book |first=James |last=Gilligan |url=http://worldcat.org/oclc/35714306 |title=Violence : reflections on a national epidemic |date=1997 |publisher=Vintage Books |isbn=0-679-77912-4 |oclc=35714306}}</ref>
* '''Internalized shame''': Internalization of shame was first coined by Gershen Kaufman.<ref>Kaufman, G. (1980). ''Shame: The Power of Caring.'' Cambridge, MA: Schenkman Publishing Company, p. 7, 33. {{ISBN|0-87047-007-8}}.</ref> In contrast to an acute short-lived experience of shame, internalized shame reflects deep-seated beliefs of inadequacy that feel permanent and irreversible and are accompanied by words, voices, and images. Internalized shame stems from chronic or less frequent severe experiences of shame occurring with prior trauma or in childhood. It can take over a child's emotions and identity and continue into adulthood or may gradually increase over time.<ref>Tomkins, Silvan S. (1963). ''Affect Imagery Consciousness: The Negative Affects''. New York: Springer Publishing. pp. 302-303. {{ISBN|9780826105424}}.</ref> Once internalized, the original shaming event(s) and beliefs need not be recalled nor be conscious. Later experiences of shame are intensified and last longer. They do not require an external event or another person to trigger associated feelings and thoughts and can cause depression and feelings of hopelessness and despair. It also causes "shame anxiety," which makes people apprehensive about experiencing shame.<ref>Lancer, D. (2014). ''Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You.'' Hazelden Foundation, pp. 14-15, {{ISBN|978-1-61649-533-6}}.</ref>
* '''[[Identity Shaming]]'''
* '''[[Kink shaming]]'''
* '''[[Online shaming]]'''
* '''[[Social media shaming]]'''
* '''[[Slut-shaming]]'''
* '''[[Tech shame]]''': describes the shame that employees, particularly younger workers, feel when they have challenges utilizing technology at work.<ref name="Demopoulos">{{cite news |last1=Demopoulos |first1=Alaina |title='Scanners are complicated': why Gen Z faces workplace 'tech shame' |url=https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2023/feb/27/gen-z-tech-shame-office-technology-printers |access-date=14 July 2024 |work=The Guardian |date=28 February 2023}}</ref>
* '''Toxic shame''': describes false, [[pathological shame]]. It was coined by Sylvan Tomkins in the early 60s.<ref>Tomkins, Silvan S. (1963). ''Affect Imagery Consciousness: The Negative Affects. New York: Springer Publishing''. {{ISBN|9780826105424}}.</ref> John Bradshaw states that [[toxic shame]] is induced, inside children, by all forms of [[child abuse]]. [[Incest]] and other forms of [[child sexual abuse]] can cause particularly severe toxic shame. Toxic shame often induces what is known as ''complex'' [[Psychological trauma|trauma]] in children who cannot cope with toxic shaming as it occurs and who [[Dissociation (psychology)|dissociate]] the shame until it is possible to cope with.<ref>Bradshaw, John (2005) ''Healing the Shame That Binds You'' (2nd edition) Health Communications, Deerfield Beach, Florida, [https://books.google.com/books?id=JTuDfNyWR7kC&pg=PA101 p. 101] {{webarchive |url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160828010451/https://books.google.com/books?id=JTuDfNyWR7kC&pg=PA101 |date=August 28, 2016 }}, {{ISBN|0-7573-0323-4}}</ref>
* '''Vicarious shame''': refers to the experience of shame on behalf of another person. Individuals vary in their tendency to experience vicarious shame, which is related to [[neurosis|neuroticism]] and to the tendency to experience personal shame. Extremely shame-prone people might even experience vicarious shame even to an increased degree, in other words: shame on behalf of another person who is already feeling shame on behalf of a third party (or possibly on behalf of the individual proper).<ref>{{Cite journal
|url=https://academic.oup.com/cercor/article/25/8/2065/311252
| journal = Cerebral Cortex | volume = 25
| issue=  8 | date = August 2015
| title = Mentalizing and the Role of the Posterior Superior Temporal Sulcus in Sharing Others' Embarrassment
| first1=Frieder Michel | last1=Paulus
| first2=Laura | last2=Müller-Pinzler
| first3=Andreas | last3= Jansen
| first4=Valeria |last4=Gazzola
| first5=Sören |last5=Krach
| pages= 2065–2075 | doi=10.1093/cercor/bhu011
| pmid = 24518753 | doi-access=free
| hdl=20.500.11755/755be558-40fa-42f7-92e1-13e2e53f7252
| hdl-access=free
}}</ref>
* '''[[Victim shaming]]'''