Editing BDSM (section)

=== Safety ===
{{See also|Risk-aware consensual kink}}
[[File:BoundCon 2013 custom photoshoot 8 picture 2.jpg|thumb|300px|A woman being put in [[suspension bondage]] at [[BoundCon]], Germany, 2013. Since the submissive is vulnerable to a potential fall, it is important that great care is taken.]]

Besides [[safe sex]], BDSM sessions often require a wider array of safety precautions than [[vanilla sex]] (sexual behaviour without BDSM elements).<ref name=sm101 /> To ensure consent related to BDSM activity, pre-play [[Negotiation (BDSM)|negotiations]] are commonplace, especially among partners who do not know each other very well. In practice, pick-up scenes at clubs or parties may sometimes be low in negotiation (much as pick-up sex from singles bars may not involve much negotiation or disclosure). These negotiations concern the interests and fantasies of each partner and establish a framework of both acceptable and unacceptable activities.<ref>David Stein: ''S/M's Copernican Revolution:From a Closed World to the Infinite Universe'' and ''Safe Sane Consensual: The Evolution of a Shibboleth'' available at [https://archive.today/20141004110503/http://www.alternativechannel.tv/?p=66 s/m-leather history]</ref> This kind of discussion is a typical "unique selling proposition" of BDSM sessions and quite commonplace.<ref>Bill Henkin, Sybil Holiday: ''Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely'', pages 80–94, Daedalus Publishing Company 1996, {{ISBN|978-1-881943-12-9}}</ref> Additionally, [[safeword]]s are often arranged to provide for an immediate stop of any activity if any participant should so desire.<ref>Deborah Cameron, Don Kulick: ''Language and Sexuality'', Page 24, Cambridge University Press 2003, {{ISBN|978-0-521-00969-0}}</ref>

Safewords are words or phrases that are called out when things are either not going as planned or have crossed a threshold one cannot handle. They are something both parties can remember and recognize and are, by definition, not words commonly used playfully during any kind of scene. Words such as ''no'', ''stop'', and ''don't'', are often inappropriate as a safeword if the roleplaying aspect includes the illusion of non-consent.

''The traffic light system'' (TLS) is the most commonly used set of safewords.
* Red – meaning: stop immediately and check the status of your partner
* Yellow – meaning: slow down, be careful<ref>Tristan Taormino (ed.): ''The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge'', page 26, Cleis Press 2012, {{ISBN|978-1573447799}}</ref>
* Green – meaning: I'm all good, we can start. If used it's normally uttered by everyone involved before the scene can start.<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a15879721/popular-safe-words/|title=The world's most popular 'safe words' have been revealed and wow|last=Gilmour|first=Paisley|date=2018-01-25|website=Cosmopolitan|language=en-GB|access-date=2019-01-12|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20190113182251/https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a15879721/popular-safe-words/|archive-date=13 January 2019|url-status=live}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web|url=https://metro.co.uk/2018/02/22/safe-word-need-one-7333301/|title=What is a safe word and do you need one?|date=2018-02-22|website=Metro|language=en|access-date=2019-01-12|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20190113063023/https://metro.co.uk/2018/02/22/safe-word-need-one-7333301/|archive-date=13 January 2019|url-status=live}}</ref>

At most clubs and group-organized BDSM parties and events, dungeon monitors (DMs) provide an additional safety net for the people playing there, ensuring that house rules are followed and safewords respected.

BDSM participants are expected to understand practical safety aspects, such as the potential for harm to body parts. [[Contusion]] or scarring of the skin can be a concern. Using crops, whips, or [[Cat of nine tails|floggers]], the top's fine motor skills and anatomical knowledge can make the difference between a satisfying session for the bottom and a highly unpleasant experience that may even entail severe physical harm.<ref>Joseph W. Bean: ''Flogging'', Greenery Press (CA), 2000, {{ISBN|978-1-890159-27-6}}</ref> The very broad range of [[Sex toy|BDSM "toys"]] and physical and psychological control techniques often requires a far-reaching knowledge of details related to the requirements of the individual session, such as [[anatomy]], [[physics]], and [[psychology]].<ref>Jack Rinella: The Toybag Guide series, Greenery Press (CA), e.g. ''The Toybag Guide to Hot Wax and Temperature Play'', {{ISBN|978-1-890159-57-3}}</ref><ref>Arne Hoffmann, ''Das Lexikon des Sadomasochismus. Der Inside-Führer zur dunklen Erotik: Praktiken und Instrumente, Personen und Institutionen, Literatur und Film, Politik und Philosophie'', page 42, Schwarzkopf & Schwarzkopf 2000, {{ISBN|978-3-89602-290-5}} (German)</ref><ref>Phillip Miller, Molly Devon, William A. Granzig: ''Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism'', pp. 95, Mystic Rose Books 1995, {{ISBN|978-0-9645960-0-9}}</ref> Despite these risks, BDSM activities usually result in far less severe injuries than sports like boxing and football, and BDSM practitioners do not visit emergency rooms any more often than the general population.<ref>{{Harvnb|Barker|Iantaffi|Gupta|2007|p=6}}</ref>

It is necessary to be able to identify each person's psychological "[[squick]]s" or triggers in advance to avoid them. Such losses of emotional balance due to sensory or emotional overload are a fairly commonly discussed issue. It is important to follow participants' reactions [[Empathy|empathetically]] and continue or stop accordingly.<ref name=sm101 /><ref>Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy: ''The New Topping Book'', page 111</ref> For some players, sparking "freakouts" or deliberately using triggers may be the desired outcome. Safewords are one way for BDSM practices to protect both parties. However, partners should be aware of each other's psychological states and behaviours to prevent instances where the "freakouts" prevent the use of safewords.

After any BDSM activities, it is important that the participants go through sexual aftercare, to process and calm down from the activity. After the sessions, participants can need aftercare because their bodies have experienced trauma and they need to mentally come out of the role play.<ref>{{Cite web|last=Zane|first=Zachary|date=2019-10-04|title=What Is Sexual Aftercare, and Why Is It So Important?|url=https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a29341534/sexual-aftercare/|access-date=2020-07-20|website=Men's Health|language=en-US|archive-date=20 July 2020|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200720231424/https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a29341534/sexual-aftercare/|url-status=live}}</ref>