Editing Thomas Merton (section)

==Personal life ==
[[File:Thomas Merton (Abbey of Gethsemani Gravesite).jpg|thumb|right|The grave of Thomas Merton. His grave marker reads "Fr. Louis Merton, died Dec. 10, 1968".]]
According to ''The Seven Storey Mountain'', the youthful Merton loved [[jazz]], but by the time he began his first teaching job he had forsaken all but peaceful music. Later in life, whenever he was permitted to leave Gethsemani for medical or monastic reasons, he would catch what live jazz he could, mainly in Louisville or New York.

In April 1966, Merton underwent surgery to treat debilitating back pain. While recuperating in a Louisville hospital, he fell in love with Margie Smith,<ref name=mr>{{cite news |title=Book on monk Thomas Merton's love affair stirs debate |url=http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/religion/2009-12-23-Merton23_st_N.htm |date=December 23, 2009 |newspaper=[[USA Today]] |access-date=December 16, 2012 |archive-date=January 27, 2013 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20130127013403/http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/religion/2009-12-23-Merton23_st_N.htm |url-status=live }}</ref> a student nurse assigned to his care. (He referred to her in his diary as "M.") He wrote poems to her and reflected on the relationship in "A Midsummer Diary for M." Merton struggled to maintain his vows while being deeply in love. It is not known if he ever consummated the relationship.<ref group="note">This issue is discussed in detail in {{cite book |title=Beneath The Mask of Holiness|last=Shaw |first=Mark |year=2009 |publisher=Palgrave Macmillan |isbn=978-0-230-61653-0 }}

In ''Learning to Love'', Merton's diary entries discuss his various meetings with Smith. In several cases he expressly denies sexual consummation, e.g. p. 52. On June 11, 1966, Merton arranged to 'borrow' the Louisville office of his psychologist, Dr. James Wygal, to get together with Smith, see p. 81. The diary entry for that day notes that they had a bottle of champagne. A parenthetical with dots at that point in the narrative indicates that further details regarding this meeting were not published in ''Learning to Love.'' In the June 14 entry, Merton notes that he had found out the night before that a brother at the abbey had overheard one of his phone conversations with Smith and had reported it to Dom James, Abbot of Gethsemani. Merton wondered which phone conversation had been monitored, saying that one he had the morning following his meeting with Smith at Wygal's office would be "the worst!!", see p. 82. Merton's June 14 entry note his discussions with Abbot James on this matter, and his intent to follow the Abbot's instruction to end his romantic relationship with M. In his entry for July 12, 1966, Merton says regarding Smith, 
<blockquote>"Yet there is no question I love her deeply&nbsp;... I keep remembering her body, her nakedness, the day at Wygal's, and it haunts me&nbsp;... I could have been enslaved to the need for her body after all. It is a good thing I called it off [i.e., a proposed visit by Smith to Gethsemani to speak with Merton there following their break-up]." See p. 94.</blockquote>

''Learning to Love'' reveals that Merton remained in contact with Marge after his July 12, 1966 entry (p.94) and after he recommitted himself to his vows (p. 110). He saw her again on July 16, 1966, and wrote: 
<blockquote>She says she thinks of me all the time (as I do of her) and her only fear is that being apart and not having news of each other, we may gradually cease to believe that we are loved, that the other's love for us goes on and is real. As I kissed her she kept saying, 'I am happy, I am at peace now.' And so was I" (p. 97).</blockquote> Despite good intentions, he continued to contact her by phone when he left the monastery grounds. He wrote on January 18, 1967, that "last week" he and two friends "drank some beer under the loblollies at the lake—should not have gone to Bardstown and Willett's in the evening. Conscience stricken for this the next day. Called M. from filling station outside Bardstown. Both glad" (p. 186).</ref>