Editing Limerence (section)

=== Romantic love ===
[[Dorothy Tennov]] sometimes considers limerence to be synonymous with the term "romantic love".<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=161,172}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|2005}}</ref><ref name="observer" /> This term has a complicated history with an evolving definition, but the sense in which Tennov uses it originates from a literary tradition of stories depicting tragic or unfulfilled love.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=87–93}}</ref> Some examples of romantic love stories in this vein are [[Layla and Majnun]], [[Tristan and Iseult]], Dante and Beatrice (from ''[[La Vita Nuova]]''), [[Romeo and Juliet]] and ''[[The Sorrows of Young Werther]]''.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=87–117}}</ref><ref name="Hayes"/>

In this sense, romantic love is idealized, unrealistic and irrational, the kind of love often found in a fairy-tale depicting a tragedy. This can be contrasted with rational, practical and pragmatic love, or the kind of love found in steady, long-term relationships.<ref>{{Cite web |last=Karandashev |first=Victor |date=12 March 2022 |title=What Is Romantic Love? |url=https://love-diversity.org/what-is-romantic-love/ |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20250107215724/https://love-diversity.org/what-is-romantic-love/ |archive-date=7 January 2025 |access-date=7 January 2025 |website=The Diversity of Love Journal}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Karandashev|2017|pp=xii-xiii,14,24,30–33}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=109,117}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=4,242-244}}</ref><ref name="Hayes"/>

The literary genre of romantic love dates back to [[troubadour]] poetry from the middle ages (or earlier) and the doctrine of [[courtly love]].<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=89–96}}</ref> Tennov credits the cleric [[Andreas Capellanus]] as describing the state of limerence "very accurately" in [[De amore (Andreas Capellanus)|''The Art of Courtly Love'']], a book of statutes for the "proper" conduct of lovers.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=174}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=94}}</ref> The work includes rules such as "A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thoughts of his beloved." and "The easy attainment of love makes it of little value; difficulty of attainment makes it prized."<ref name="Tallis 2004 96">{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=96}}</ref> This work helped spread the cultural doctrine of romantic love throughout [[Europe]].<ref name="Tallis 2004 96"/><ref name="Lee 1998 54–55">{{harvnb|Lee|1998|pp=54–55}}</ref> Because of the literary and cultural origins of the term, the romantic love phenomenon is sometimes held to be [[Social construct|socially constructed]] (especially by critics, according to Tennov); however, Tennov argues that limerence has a biological basis and evolutionary purpose.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=174–175,242–249}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1998|pp=50,54–55}}</ref>

Tennov also sometimes considers limerence to be synonymous with "falling" in love,<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=167,222,270}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=42-43}}</ref> a concept which also has origins in the romantic tradition and the idea that love is tragic. To "fall" in love evokes a connotation of physically falling over. One influential work in the middle ages described lovers who frequently fainted or lost consciousness.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=42-43,89}}</ref>

Romantic love is also often used as a synonym for [[Passionate and companionate love|passionate love]], also called "being in love", and also often associated with limerence.<ref name="proximateandultimate" /><ref name=":52">{{Cite journal |last1=Bode |first1=Adam |last2=Kowal |first2=Marta |date=3 May 2023 |title=Toward consistent reporting of sample characteristics in studies investigating the biological mechanisms of romantic love |journal=[[Frontiers in Psychology]] |volume=14 |doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2023.983419 |pmc=10192910 |pmid=37213378 |doi-access=free}}</ref> Academic literature has never universally adopted a single term for this.<ref name="proximateandultimate" /> [[Helen Fisher (anthropologist)|Helen Fisher]] has commented that she prefers the term "romantic love" because she thinks it has meaning in society.<ref name="madlyinlove">{{cite podcast |url=https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/madly-in-love-researcher-talks-love-limerence-and/id1510016468?i=1000640994601 |title="Madly In Love" Researcher Talks Love, Limerence, and Mating For Life with Dr. Helen Fisher |website=It Starts With Attraction |last=Holmes |first=Kimberly |date=2024 |access-date=27 May 2024}}: "I don't think there is any difference [between romantic love and limerence]. I used to know [Dorothy Tennov] and I guess she wanted to invent a new term, and that was fine. I don't mind that, but I actually like the term of romantic love. Her concept of limerence was a rather sad one. It had a sad component to it. Anyway, she created a new term. It's a perfectly fine term. I could have used it myself. I decided not to because I felt that the term romantic love had meaning in society and I didn't see the need for a new term. But I certainly liked her work. I certainly read her book. I certainly knew her. I admired her. And I didn't happen to adopt the term limerence, but if people want to use it, fine with me. [...] My memory of [limerence]—and this is—she wrote that book in 1979, so I—and then she died pretty recently—and she was sick, and even the day that I met her at a conference, she was with her son who she really needed for, I don't know, for emotional or physical support. From my reading of it, she sort of felt that limerence was a somewhat unhealthy experience, that it so overtook you and could lead to some disaster."</ref>