Editing Joseph Conrad (section)

===Personal life===
[[File:TIMEMagazine7Apr1923.jpg|thumb|upright=1.0|''[[Time (magazine)|Time]]'', 7 April 1923]]

====Temperament and health====
Conrad was a reserved man, wary of showing emotion. He scorned sentimentality; his manner of portraying emotion in his books was full of restraint, scepticism and irony.{{sfnp|Najder|2007|p=575}} In the words of his uncle [[Tadeusz Bobrowski|Bobrowski]], as a young man Conrad was "extremely sensitive, conceited, reserved, and in addition excitable. In short [...] all the defects of the ''Nałęcz'' family."{{sfnp|Najder|2007|p=65}}

Conrad suffered throughout life from ill health, physical and mental. A newspaper review of a Conrad biography suggested that the book could have been subtitled ''Thirty Years of Debt, Gout, Depression and Angst''.<ref>{{Cite news|last=Upchurch|first=Michael|title=A compact portrait of a troubled author in John Stape's ''The Several Lives of Joseph Conrad''|url=http://seattletimes.com/html/books/2004280033_conrad16.html|newspaper=[[The Seattle Times]]|date=14 March 2008|archive-date=18 October 2012|access-date=19 October 2012|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20121018220627/http://seattletimes.com/html/books/2004280033_conrad16.html|url-status=live}}</ref> In 1891 he was hospitalised for several months, suffering from [[gout]], neuralgic pains in his right arm and recurrent attacks of malaria. He also complained of swollen hands "which made writing difficult". Taking his uncle Tadeusz Bobrowski's advice, he convalesced at a spa in Switzerland.{{sfnp|Najder|2007|pp=169–70}} Conrad had a phobia of [[dentistry]], neglecting his teeth until they had to be extracted. In one letter he remarked that every novel he had written had cost him a tooth.{{sfnp|Meyers|1991|p=258}} Conrad's physical afflictions were, if anything, less vexatious than his mental ones. In his letters he often described symptoms of depression; "the evidence", writes Najder, "is so strong that it is nearly impossible to doubt it."{{sfnp|Najder|2007|p=167}}

====Attempted suicide====
In March 1878, at the end of his [[Marseille]] period, 20-year-old Conrad attempted suicide, by shooting himself in the chest with a revolver.<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Dean|first=Biron|title=The Death of the Writer|date=2011|url=https://www.australianbookreview.com.au/abr-online/52-may-2011/316-the-death-of-the-writer|journal=Australian Book Review|volume=331|pages=36–44|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20140917143910/https://www.australianbookreview.com.au/abr-online/52-may-2011/316-the-death-of-the-writer |archive-date=17 September 2014 }}</ref> According to his uncle, who was summoned by a friend, Conrad had fallen into debt. Bobrowski described his subsequent "study" of his nephew in an extensive letter to [[:pl:Stefan Buszczyński|Stefan Buszczyński]], his own ideological opponent and a friend of Conrad's late father [[Apollo Korzeniowski|Apollo]].{{NoteTag|"Although Konrad had been absolutely certain of accompanying Captain Escarras on his next voyage, the ''Bureau de l'Inscription'' forbade him to go on the grounds of his being a 21-year-old alien who was under the obligation of... military service in his own country. Then it was discovered... he had never had a permit from his [c]onsul—the ex-Inspector of the Port of Marseilles was summoned who... had [certified] the existence of such a permit—he was... reprimanded and nearly lost his job—which was undoubtedly very unpleasant for Konrad. The whole affair became... widely known, and all endeavors by... Captain [Escarras] and the ship-owner [Jean-Baptiste Delestang] proved fruitless... and Konrad was forced to stay behind with no hope of serving on French vessels. However, before all this happened another catastrophe—this time financial—befell him. While still in possession of the 3,000 fr[ancs] sent to him for the voyage, he met his former captain, Mr. Duteil, who persuaded him to participate in some enterprise on the coasts of Spain—some kind of contraband!  He invested 1,000 fr[ancs] in it and made over 400, which pleased them greatly, so... on the second occasion he put in all he had—and lost the lot. ... Duteil... then went off to [[Buenos Aires]]. ... Konrad was left behind, unable to sign on for a ship—poor as a church mouse and, moreover, heavily in debt—for while speculating he had lived on credit... [H]e borrows 800 fr[ancs] from his [German] friend [Richard] Fecht and sets off for... Villefranche, where an American squadron was anchored,... inten[ding to] join... the American service. He achieves nothing there and, wishing to improve his finances, tries his luck in [[Monte Carlo]] and loses the 800 fr[ancs] he had borrowed. Having managed his affairs so excellently, he returns to Marseilles and one fine evening invites his friend the creditor [Fecht] to tea, for an appointed hour, and before his arrival attempts to take his life with a revolver. (Let this detail remain between us, as I have been telling everyone that he was wounded in a duel....) The bullet goes... through... near his heart without damaging any vital organ. Luckily, all his addresses were left on top of his things so that this worthy Mr. Fecht could instantly let me know...

... Apart from the 3,000 fr[ancs] which [Konrad] had lost, I had to pay as much again to settle his debts. Had he been my own son, I wouldn't have done it, but... in the case of my beloved sister's son, I had the weakness to act against [my] principles... Nevertheless, I swore that even if I knew that he would shoot himself a second time—there would be no repetition of the same weakness on my part. To some extent, also, I was influenced by considerations of our national honor, so that it should not be said that one of us had exploited the affection, which Konrad undoubtedly enjoyed, of all those with whom he came into contact....

My study of the Individual has convinced me that he is not a bad boy, only one who is extremely sensitive, conceited, reserved, and in addition excitable. In short, I found in him all the defects of the ''Nałęcz'' family. He is able and eloquent—he has forgotten nothing of his Polish although, since he left [Kraków], I was the first person he conversed with in his native tongue. He appears to know his profession well and to like it. [He declined Bobrowski's suggestion that he return to Poland, maintaining that he loved his profession.]..."{{sfnp|Najder|2007|p=65}}}} To what extent the suicide attempt had been made in earnest likely will never be known, but it is suggestive of a situational depression.{{sfnp|Najder|2007|pp=65–67}}

====Romance and marriage====
In 1888 during a stop-over on [[Mauritius]], in the [[Indian Ocean]], Conrad developed a couple of romantic interests.  One of these would be described in his 1910 story "A Smile of Fortune", which contains autobiographical elements (e.g., one of the characters is the same Chief Mate Burns who appears in ''[[The Shadow Line (novel)|The Shadow Line]]''). The narrator, a young captain, flirts ambiguously and surreptitiously with Alice Jacobus, daughter of a local merchant living in a house surrounded by a magnificent rose garden. Research has confirmed that in Port Louis at the time there was a 17-year-old Alice Shaw, whose father, a shipping agent, owned the only rose garden in town.{{sfnp|Najder|2007|pp=126–27}}

More is known about Conrad's other, more open flirtation. An old friend, Captain Gabriel Renouf of the French merchant marine, introduced him to the family of his brother-in-law. Renouf's eldest sister was the wife of Louis Edward Schmidt, a senior official in the colony; with them lived two other sisters and two brothers. Though the island had been taken over in 1810 by Britain, many of the inhabitants were descendants of the original French colonists, and Conrad's excellent French and perfect manners opened all local salons to him. He became a frequent guest at the Schmidts', where he often met the Misses Renouf. A couple of days before leaving Port Louis, Conrad asked one of the Renouf brothers for the hand of his 26-year-old sister Eugenie. She was already, however, engaged to marry her pharmacist cousin. After the rebuff, Conrad did not pay a farewell visit but sent a polite letter to Gabriel Renouf, saying he would never return to Mauritius and adding that on the day of the wedding his thoughts would be with them.

[[File:Westbere House Geograph-2802100-by-N-Chadwick.jpg|thumb|upright=1.3|Westbere House, in [[Canterbury]], Kent, was once owned by Conrad. It is [[Listed building#England and Wales|listed Grade II]] on the [[National Heritage List for England]].<ref>{{cite news |title=Westbere House |url=https://historicengland.org.uk/images-books/photos/item/IOE01/12349/12 |access-date=24 June 2023 |agency=Historic England |archive-date=24 June 2023 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230624100939/https://historicengland.org.uk/images-books/photos/item/IOE01/12349/12 |url-status=live }}</ref>]]
On 24 March 1896 Conrad married an Englishwoman, Jessie George.{{sfnp|Najder|1969|p=174}} The couple had two sons, Borys and John. The elder, Borys, proved a disappointment in scholarship and integrity.{{sfnp|Najder|2007|pp=427, 454, 545–46, ''et passim''}} Jessie was an unsophisticated, working-class girl, sixteen years younger than Conrad.{{sfnp|Najder|2007|pp=218–19}} To his friends, she was an inexplicable choice of wife, and the subject of some rather disparaging and unkind remarks.{{sfnp|Najder|2007|pp=222–24, 292}} (See Lady Ottoline Morrell's opinion of Jessie in [[#Impressions|Impressions]].) However, according to other biographers such as [[Frederick R. Karl|Frederick Karl]], Jessie provided what Conrad needed, namely a "straightforward, devoted, quite competent" companion.{{sfnp|Karl|1979|p=341}} Similarly, Jones remarks that, despite whatever difficulties the marriage endured, "there can be no doubt that the relationship sustained Conrad's career as a writer", which might have been much less successful without her.<ref>{{Cite book|last=Jones|first=S.|title= Conrad and Women|year=1999|publisher=Clarendon Press|location=Oxford|page=36}}</ref>

When in 1923 Jessie Conrad published ''A Handbook of Cookery for a Small House'', it came with a preface from Joseph Conrad praising "the conscientious preparation of the simple food of everyday life, not the... concoction of idle feasts and rare dishes."<ref>{{Cite web |url=https://www.gutenberg.org/files/67482/67482-h/67482-h.htm |title=A Handbook of Cookery for a Small House, by Jessie Conrad—A Project Gutenberg eBook |access-date=30 October 2024 |archive-date=4 December 2024 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20241204034735/https://www.gutenberg.org/files/67482/67482-h/67482-h.htm |url-status=live }}</ref>

The couple rented a long series of successive homes, mostly in the English countryside. Conrad, who suffered frequent depressions, made great efforts to change his mood; the most important step was to move into another house. His frequent changes of home were usually signs of a search for psychological regeneration.{{sfnp|Najder|2007|p=419}} Between 1910 and 1919 Conrad's home was Capel House in [[Orlestone]], Kent, which was rented to him by Lord and Lady Oliver. It was here that he wrote ''[[The Rescue (Conrad novel)|The Rescue]]'', ''[[Victory (novel)|Victory]]'', and ''[[The Arrow of Gold]]''.<ref>{{NHLE|num=1184965|desc=Capel House, Orlestone, Kent|grade=II|last=|access-date=21 November 2023}}</ref>

Except for several vacations in France and Italy, a 1914 vacation in his native Poland, and a 1923 visit to the United States, Conrad lived the rest of his life in England.