Editing Self-esteem (section)

=== Contingent vs. non-contingent ===
A distinction is made between contingent (or conditional<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/contingent|title=Contingent Synonyms, Contingent Antonyms |website=thesaurus.com|access-date=22 October 2017}}</ref>)  and non-contingent (or unconditional<ref>{{cite encyclopedia|url=http://www.thefreedictionary.com/unconditional|title=Unconditional|access-date=11 December 2017|dictionary=[[The Free Dictionary]]}}</ref>) self-esteem.

''Contingent self-esteem'' is derived from external sources, such as what others say, one's success or failure, one's competence,<ref name="Koivula-et-al-2002">{{Cite journal  | last1 = Koivula | first1 = Nathalie  | last2 = Hassmén | first2 = Peter  | last3 = Fallby | first3 = Johan  | title = Self-esteem and perfectionism in elite athletes: effects on competitive anxiety and self-confidence  | journal = Personality and Individual Differences  | volume = 32 | issue = 5  | year = 2002  | pages = 865–875  | doi = 10.1016/S0191-8869(01)00092-7}}</ref> or [[relationship-contingent self-esteem]].

Therefore, contingent self-esteem is marked by instability, unreliability, and vulnerability. Persons lacking a non-contingent self-esteem are "predisposed to an incessant pursuit of self-value".<ref>{{cite web|author=Victoria Blom|title='Striving for Self-esteem' (Department of Psychology, Stockholm University, 2011)|page=17|url=http://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:406035/FULLTEXT01.pdf}}</ref> However, because the pursuit of contingent self-esteem is based on receiving approval, it is doomed to fail, as no one receives constant approval, and disapproval often evokes depression. Furthermore, fear of disapproval inhibits activities in which failure is possible.<ref name="psychologytoday.com">{{cite web|url=http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201112/the-boom-and-bust-ego|title=The Boom and Bust Ego|website=Psychology Today|access-date=11 December 2017}}</ref>

{{Quote box|width=20em|fontsize = 90%|bgcolor = #F0F0F0|quote="The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable.... This is the Pauline-Lutheran doctrine of 'justification by faith.'" [[Paul Tillich]]<ref>Paul Tillich, ''Terry Lectures: Courage to Be'' (Yale University, 2000) 164.</ref>}}
''Non-contingent self-esteem'' is described as true, stable, and solid.<ref>Christopher J. Mruk, ''Self-esteem Research, Theory, and Practice'' (Springer, 1995), 88.</ref> It springs from a belief that one is "acceptable period, acceptable before life itself, ontologically acceptable".<ref>Terry D. Cooper, ''Paul Tillich and Psychology: Historic and Contemporary Explorations in Theology, Psychotherapy, and Ethics'' (Mercer University, 2006). 7. {{ISBN?}}</ref> Belief that one is "ontologically acceptable" is to believe that one's acceptability is "the way things ''are'' without contingency".<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.ahpcc.org.uk/includes/articles/selfesteem.pdf|title=Self-esteem/OKness: a personal story|website=Ahpcc.org.uk|access-date=11 December 2017}}</ref> In this belief, as expounded by theologian [[Paul Tillich]], acceptability is not based on a person's virtue. It is an acceptance given "in spite of our guilt, not because we have no guilt".<ref>Terry D. Cooper, ''Paul Tillich and Psychology: Historic and Contemporary Explorations in Theology, Psychotherapy, and Ethics'' (Mercer University,2006). 5. {{ISBN?}}</ref>

Psychiatrist [[Thomas A Harris]] drew on Tillich for his classic ''[[I'm OK – You're OK]]'' that addresses non-contingent self-esteem. Harris translated Tillich's "acceptable" by the vernacular ''OK'', a term that means "acceptable".<ref>{{cite encyclopedia|url=http://www.thefreedictionary.com/OK|title=OK|access-date=11 December 2017|dictionary=[[The Free Dictionary]]}}</ref> The Christian message, said Harris, is not "YOU CAN BE OK, IF"; it is "YOU ARE ACCEPTED, unconditionally".<ref>Thomas A. Harris, ''I'm OK – You're OK'' (Harper and Row), 1969, 235.</ref>

A secure non-contingent self-esteem springs from the belief that one is ontologically acceptable and accepted.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://academic.udayton.edu/jackbauer/PGSG/Kernis%2003%20opt%20s-esteem%20authenticity%20copy.pdf|title=Toward a Conceptualization of Optimal Self-Esteem|author=Michael H. Kernis|website=Academic.udayton.edu|access-date=11 December 2017|archive-date=17 April 2018|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20180417183904/http://academic.udayton.edu/jackbauer/PGSG/Kernis%2003%20opt%20s-esteem%20authenticity%20copy.pdf|url-status=dead}}</ref>