Editing User Friendly (section)

=== Cast ===
{{In-universe|subject=comics|category=comics|date=October 2009}}
{{Primary sources section|find=User Friendly|find2=web comic characters|date=March 2016}}
{{Excessive list|section|date=November 2020}}

==== A.J. Garrett ====
A.J., Illiad's alter ego,<ref name="ufver1.0">{{cite book|last=Frazer|first=J. D.|title=User Friendly v1.0|date=March 2002|publisher=Plan Nine Publishing|isbn=1-929462-39-5|page=67|author-link=J. D. Frazer}}</ref> represents "the creative guy" in the strip, maintaining and designing websites. As a [[web design]]er, he's uncomfortably crammed in that tiny crevice between the techies and the marketing people. This means he's not disliked by anyone, but they all look at him funny from time to time. A.J. is shy and sensitive, loves most computer games and nifty art, and has a big-brother relationship with the Dust Puppy. A.J. is terrified of [[Grue (monster)|grues]] and attempts to avoid them.<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=UserFriendly|date=2002-10-17|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20021017|contribution=Strip Comments|author-link=J. D. Frazer}}.</ref> He was released from the company on two separate occasions but returned shortly thereafter.

In the strip as of September 16, 2005, he and Miranda (another character) are dating. They also have previously dated, but split up over a misunderstanding.

==== The Chief ====
The Chief is Columbia Internet's CEO. He is the leader of the techies and salespeople.

Illiad based the character on a former boss, saying, "The Chief is based on my business mentor. He was the vice president that I reported to back in the day. The Chief, like my mentor, is tall (!) and thin and sports a bushy ring around a bald crown, plus a very thick moustache." The Chief bears a superficial resemblance to the [[Pointy-Haired Boss]] of ''[[Dilbert]]'' fame. However, Illiad says that The Chief was not inspired by the ''Dilbert'' character.<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=UserFriendly|date=2006-07-18|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/read.cgi?id=20060718&tid=2135612|contribution=Strip Comments|author-link=J. D. Frazer}}.</ref>  His personality is very different from the PHB, as well: he manages in the laissez-faire style, as opposed to the Marketing-based, micro-managing stance of the PHB.  He has encouraged the office to standardise on [[Linux]] (much to Stef's chagrin).<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=1998-10-08|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19981008|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer}}.</ref>

==== Dust Puppy ====
Born in a [[Server (computing)|server]] from a combination of [[dust]], [[Lint (material)|lint]], and [[Quantum mechanics|quantum]] events, the Dust Puppy looks similar to a ball of dust and lint, with eyes, feet and an occasional big toothy smile.  He was briefly absent from the strip after accidentally being blown with compressed air while sleeping inside a dusty server.

Although the Dust Puppy is very innocent and unworldly, he plays a superb game of [[Quake (video game)|Quake]]. He also created an artificial intelligence named [[#Erwin|Erwin]], with whom he has been known to do occasional song performances (or [[filk]]s).

Dust Puppy is liked by most of the other characters, with the exceptions of Stef and the Dust Puppy's evil nemesis, the Crud Puppy.

First appearance December 3, 1997.<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=1997-12-03|type=cartoon|contribution=Dust Puppy's first appearance|contribution-url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19971203|author-link=J. D. Frazer|access-date=February 13, 2012|archive-date=January 1, 2015|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20150101213339/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19971203|url-status=dead}}</ref>

==== Crud Puppy ====
Crud Puppy (Lord Ignatius Crud)<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=Sep 15, 2005|contribution=Nag strip|contribution-url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20050915|author-link=J. D. Frazer|access-date=June 18, 2007|archive-date=August 10, 2016|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160810062551/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20050915|url-status=dead}}.</ref> is the [[evil twin]], born from the crud in Stef's keyboard; he is the nemesis of the Dust Puppy and sometimes takes the role of "bad guy" in the series. Examples include being the attorney/legal advisor of both Microsoft and then AOL or controlling a "Thing" suit in the Antarctic. He is most often seen in later strips in an Armani suit, usually sitting at the local bar with Cthulhu. The Crud Puppy first appeared in the strip on February 24, 1998.<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=1998-04-05|type=cartoon|contribution=Anatomy of a Crud Puppy|contribution-url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19980405|author-link=J. D. Frazer|access-date=April 11, 2006|archive-date=August 10, 2016|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160810022456/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19980405|url-status=dead}}.</ref>

==== Erwin ====
Erwin first appeared in the January 25, 1998 strip. Erwin is a highly advanced [[Artificial intelligence|Artificial Intelligence (AI)]] created overnight during experimentation in artificial intelligence by the [[#Dust Puppy|Dust Puppy]], who was feeling kind of bored. Erwin is written in [[COBOL]]<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=2000-10-18|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20001018|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer|access-date=August 20, 2011|archive-date=September 26, 2017|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20170926215504/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20001018|url-status=dead}}.</ref> because Dust Puppy "lost a bet".<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=2000-10-19|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20001019|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer|access-date=August 29, 2011|archive-date=November 27, 2002|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20021127023057/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20001019|url-status=dead}}.</ref> Erwin passes the [[Turing test]] with flying colours, and has a dry sense of humour. He is an expert on any subject that is covered on the [[World Wide Web]], such as [[Elvis sightings]] and [[Extraterrestrial life|alien]] [[Conspiracy theory|conspiracies]]. Erwin is rather self-centered, and he is fond of mischievous pranks.

Originally, Erwin occupied the classic "[[Computer display|monitor]] and [[Computer keyboard|keyboard]]" type computer with an [[X86 architecture|x86]] [[computer architecture]], but was later given such residences as an [[iMac]], a [[Palm, Inc.|Palm]] III, a [[Coleco Adam]] on [[Mir]], a [[Furby]], a [[Nuclear weapons delivery|nuclear weapon]] guidance system, an [[SGI O2]], a [[Hewlett-Packard]] [[Calculator]] (with [[reverse Polish notation]], which meant that Erwin talked like [[Yoda]] for weeks afterward), a [[Lego Mindstorms]] construction, a [[Tamagotchi]], a [[Segway HT|Segway]], an [[IBM PC 5150]], a [[BattleMechs|''Timber Wolf''-class BattleMech]],<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=2001-10-04|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20010804|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer}}.</ref> and an Internet-equipped toilet (with Dust Puppy being the [[toilet brush]]), as a punishment for insulting [[Hastur]].

==== Greg Flemming ====
Greg is in charge of Technical Support in the strip. In other words, he's the guy that customers whine to when something goes wrong, which drives him nuts. He blows off steam by playing visceral games and doing bad things to the salespeople. He's not a bad sort, but his grip on his sanity hovers somewhere between weak and non-existent, and he once worked for [[Microsoft]] [http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19980306&mode=classic Quality Assurance] {{Webarchive|url=https://archive.today/20130113123444/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19980306&mode=classic |date=January 13, 2013 }}.

==== Mike Floyd ====
Mike is the System Administrator of the strip and is responsible for the smooth running of the network at the office. He's bright but prone to fits of anxiety. His worst nightmare is being locked in a room with a sweaty Windows 95 programmer and no hacking weapons in sight.<ref name=":4">{{cite web|last=Illiad|title=UF Cartoon Archive - Character Gallery - Mike|url=http://www.userfriendly.org/cartoons/mike/|website=www.userfriendly.org}}</ref> He loves hot [[ramen]] straight out of a styrofoam cup.

==== Miranda Cornielle ====
Miranda is a trained systems technologist, an experienced [[Unix|UNIX]] sysadmin, and very, very female. Her technical abilities unnerve the other techs, but her obvious physical charms compel them to stare at her, except for [[#Pitr Dubovich|Pitr]], who is convinced she is [[evil]]. Although she has few character flaws, she does express sadistic tendencies, especially towards marketers and [[luser]]s. Miranda finds Dust Puppy adorable.

She and [[#A.J. Garrett|A.J.]] are dating as of September 16, 2005, although she was previously frustrated by his inability to express himself and his love for her. This comes after years of missed opportunities and misunderstandings, such as when A.J. poured his feelings into an email and Miranda mistook it for the [[ILOVEYOU (computer virus)|ILOVEYOU]] email worm and deleted it unread.<ref>{{cite web|last=Illiad|title=UserFriendly Strip Comments|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20000511&mode=classic|website=ars.userfriendly.org|access-date=December 10, 2005|archive-date=August 10, 2016|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160810021515/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20000511&mode=classic|url-status=dead}}</ref>

==== Pitr Dubovich ====
Pitr is the administrator of the Columbia Internet server and a self-proclaimed [[Linux]] guru. He suddenly began to speak with a fake Slavic accent as part of his program to "Become an Evil Genius." He has almost succeeded in taking over the planet several times. His sworn enemy is [[#Sid Dabster|Sid]], who seems to outdo him at every turn. Pitr's achievements include: making the world's (second) strongest coffee, merging [[Coca-Cola]], [[Pepsi-Cola|Pepsi]] into Pitr-Cola and making Columbia Internet millions with a [[nuclear weapon]] purchased from [[Russia]], and the infamous [[Vigor (software)|Vigor]] text editor. He briefly worked for [[Google]], nearly succeeding in world domination, but was released from there and returned to Columbia Internet. Despite his vast efforts to become the ultimate evil character, his lack of illheartedness prevents him from reaching such achievement.

==== Sid Dabster ====
Sid is the oldest of the geeks and very knowledgeable. His advanced age gives him the upper hand against [[#Pitr Dubovich|Pitr]], whom he has outdone on several occasions, including in a coffee-brewing competition and in a round of ''[[Jeopardy!]]'' that he hacked in his own favor. Unlike Pitr, he has no ambitions for world domination per se, but he is a friend of [[Hastur]] and [[Cthulhu]] (based on the [[H. P. Lovecraft]] Mythos characters).  He was hired in September 2000 and he had formerly worked for [[Hewlett-Packard]], with ten years' experience<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=2000-09-26|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20000926|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer}}.</ref>  It is his habit, unlike the other techs, to dress to a somewhat professional degree; when he first came to work, Smiling Man, the head accountant, expressed shock at the fact that Sid was wearing his usual blue business suit.<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=2000-09-27|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20000927|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer|access-date=September 6, 2009|archive-date=July 11, 2002|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20020711115342/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20000927|url-status=dead}}.</ref>  He is also a fan of old technology, having grown up in the age of [[Text Editor and Corrector|TECO]], [[PDP-6]]es, the original [[VT100]], [[FORTRAN]], [[IBM 3270]] and the [[IBM 5150]]; one could, except for the decent taste in clothing, categorise him as a [[Real Programmer]].  He was once a [[Cannabis (drug)|cannabis]] smoker,<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User friendly|date=2001-05-07|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20010507|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer|access-date=August 28, 2009|archive-date=December 17, 2002|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20021217225055/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20010507|url-status=dead}}.</ref> as contrasted with the rest of the technological staff, who prefer caffeine (Greg in the form of [[cola]], Miranda in the form of [[espresso]]).  This had the unfortunate effect of causing lung cancer and he was treated by an oncologist.<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=2009-10-14|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20091014|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer}}.</ref>  He has since recovered from the cancer and was told he has another 20 years or so to live.

==== Pearl Dabster ====
Sid Dabster's beautiful daughter. The character appeared for the first time in the strip of Aug. 30, 2001.<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=2001-08-30|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20010830|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer|access-date=June 28, 2010|archive-date=August 10, 2016|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160810065102/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20010830|url-status=dead}}.</ref>  Pearl is often seen getting the better of the boys.  She is the antagonist of Miranda, and occasionally the object of Pitr's affections, much to the chagrin of Sid. Some people (both in strip and in the real world) wrongly assume that the character was named after the scripting language PERL. While this may be the true intention of the author, in the script timeline, is shown to be an error based on wordplay.<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=2001-08-31|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20010831|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer|access-date=June 28, 2010|archive-date=August 10, 2016|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160810065158/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20010831|url-status=dead}}.</ref>

==== Smiling Man ====
The Smiling Man is the company [[comptroller]]. He is in charge of [[Deposit account|accounts]], finances, and expenditures. He smiles all day for no reason. This in itself is enough to terrify most normal human beings (even via phone). However, the Dust Puppy, the "Evilphish", a delirious Stef, and a consultant in a purple suit have managed to get him to stop smiling first. His favourite wallpaper is a large, complex, and utterly meaningless [[spreadsheet]].

==== Stef Murky ====
Stef is the strip's Corporate Sales Manager.  He runs most of the marketing efforts within the firm, often selling things before they exist. He is a stereotypical marketer, with an enormous ego and a condescending attitude toward the techies; they detest him and frequently retaliate with pranks. He sucks at ''[[Quake (video game)|Quake]]'', even once managing to die at the startup screen in ''[[Quake III Arena]]'';<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=March 17, 2000|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20000317|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer|access-date=February 25, 2008|archive-date=July 11, 2002|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20020711114203/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20000317|url-status=dead}}.</ref> in addition, he manages to die by falling into lava in any game that contains it, including games where it is normally impossible to step in said lava.<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=October 14, 2006|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20061014|type=cartoon|author-link=J. D. Frazer|access-date=November 13, 2008|archive-date=May 5, 2019|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20190505190019/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20061014|url-status=dead}}.</ref> Although he admires [[Microsoft]] and frequently defends their marketing tactics, infuriating the techies, he has a real problem with Microsoft salesmen, probably because they make much more money than he does. His attitude towards women is decidedly chauvinist; he lusts after Miranda who will not have anything to do with him. Stef is definitely [[wiktionary:gormless|gormless]], as demonstrated on January 14, 2005.<ref group="#">{{Citation|last=Frazer|first=JD ‘Illiad’|title=User Friendly|date=2005-01-14|url=http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20050114|type=UserFriendly|contribution=Strip Comments|author-link=J. D. Frazer}}.</ref>