Editing The Illuminatus! Trilogy (section)

=== Plot summary ===
The trilogy's story begins with an investigation by two [[New York City]] police detectives (Saul Goodman and Barney Muldoon) into the bombing of ''Confrontation'', a [[left-wing politics|leftist]] magazine, and the disappearance of its editor, Joe Malik. Discovering the magazine's investigation into the assassinations of [[Assassination of John F. Kennedy|John F. Kennedy]], [[Assassination of Robert F. Kennedy|Robert F. Kennedy]], and [[Assassination of Martin Luther King Jr.|Martin Luther King Jr.]], the two follow a trail of memos that suggest the involvement of powerful [[secret society|secret societies]]. They slowly become drawn into a web of conspiracy theories. Meanwhile, the magazine's reporter, George Dorn—having been turned loose without support deep in [[right-wing politics|right-wing]] Mad Dog, [[Texas]]—is arrested for drug possession. He is jailed and physically threatened, at one point hallucinating about his own execution. The prison is bombed and he is rescued by the [[Discordianism|Discordians]], led by the enigmatic [[Hagbard Celine]], captain of a golden submarine. Hagbard represents the Discordians in their eternal battle against the [[Illuminati]], the conspiratorial organization that secretly controls the world. He finances his operations by smuggling illicit substances.

The plot meanders around the globe to such locations as [[Las Vegas Valley|Las Vegas]] (where an epidemic of deadly mutated [[anthrax disease|anthrax]] secretly developed by the U.S. government has been accidentally unleashed); [[Atlantis]] (where Howard, the talking [[porpoise]], and his porpoise aides help Hagbard battle the Illuminati); [[Chicago]] (where someone resembling [[John Dillinger]] was killed many years ago); and to the island of [[Bioko|Fernando Poo]] (the location of the next great [[Cold War]] standoff between the Soviet Union, China, and the United States).

The evil scheme uncovered late in the tale is an attempt to ''[[immanentize the eschaton]]'', a secret scheme of the ''American Medical Association'', an evil rock band, to bring about a mass [[human sacrifice]], the purpose of which is the release of enough "life-energy" to give eternal life to a select group of initiates, including [[Adolf Hitler]]. The AMA are revealed to be four siblings (last name Saure) who comprise four of the five mysterious Illuminati Primi. The identity of the fifth remains unknown for much of the trilogy. The first European "[[Woodstock Festival|Woodstock]]" festival, held at [[Ingolstadt]], [[Bavaria]] (place of origin of the ''real'' historical Illuminati, also known as [[Illuminati|Bavarian Illuminati]]), is the chosen location for the sacrifice of the unwary victims, via the reawakening of hibernating [[Nazism|Nazi]] battalions from the bottom of nearby (fictitious) Lake Totenkopf (a literal translation of contemporary American English "dead head"). The plot is foiled when, with the help of a 50-foot-tall incarnation of the goddess [[Eris (mythology)|Eris]], the four members of the AMA are killed: Wilhelm is killed by the monstrous alien being [[Yog-Sothoth]], Wolfgang is shot by John Dillinger, Winifred is drowned by porpoises, and Werner is trapped in a sinking car.

The major protagonists, now gathered together on board the submarine, are menaced by the [[Leviathan]], a giant, pyramid-shaped single-cell [[sea monster]] that has been growing in size for hundreds of millions of years. The over-the-top nature of this encounter leads some of the characters to question whether they are merely characters in a book. This [[metafiction]]al note is swiftly rejected (or ignored) as they turn their attention to the monster again. The threat is neutralized by offering up their onboard computer as something for the creature to communicate with to ease its loneliness. Finally Hagbard manages to defeat the Illuminati Primi and travels to [[Alpha Centauri]] in 1999.