Editing Roger Mellie (section)

==Fictional biography==
Born Roger Edward Paul Mellie in 1937 in [[North Shields]], Roger was educated at Fulchester Mixed Infants, Bartlepool Grammar School, and the Oxford Remand Centre. He began his broadcasting career as a cub reporter on the news with [[Robert Dougall]] and shot to fame filling in for a poorly [[Bruce Forsyth]] on ''[[Tonight at the London Palladium|Saturday Night at the London Palladium]]'' with his "Last Turkey in the Shop" routine,<ref name=ad>{{cite magazine|magazine=[[Viz (comic)|Viz]]|title=I've Been Ad|date=March 2000|edition=Old Gold Rope The Very Best of Roger Mellie The Man on the Telly|pages=10–11}}</ref> featuring genital mutilation routines. Recruited by Fulchester Television he became a popular TV personality and established his own [[production company]], MellieVision.  Mellie was frequently [[Traffic stop|pulled over]] for [[drink-driving]]<ref name=ad/> and, in 1986, he ran over and killed a bus queue.<ref name=ogr>{{cite magazine|magazine=[[Viz (comic)|Viz]]|title=My Kind of Day|date=March 2000|edition=Old Gold Rope The Very Best of Roger Mellie The Man on the Telly|page=46}}</ref> He often stays at his favourite [[lap dance|lap-dancing]] club in [[Acton, London|Acton]]<ref name=ogr/> until past 3am, but lives in [[Fulchester]] with his 17-year-old [[Thai people|Thai]] wife and fifteen Staffordshire Bull Terriers. He has had five previous wives (two "accidentally" murdered) and is a convicted rapist, undischarged [[bankruptcy|bankrupt]], a hopeless [[alcoholism|alcoholic]], extremely sexist, very [[right-wing]], a bigot and a recovering [[cocaine]] addict. He owned a restaurant in [[Stoke Newington]] with [[Alex Higgins]], [[George Best]] and [[Chris Quinten]].<ref name=ogr/> He once almost died while unveiling a plaque, but was resuscitated by the nurses in hospital, and promptly ordered his breakfast - sausages, fried bread, fried eggs, black pudding and several other heart-destroying items.

Roger's [[double act|straight man]] is Tom, in early strips, a director or producer, later a portmanteau figure, an agent for Roger or a television executive, to suit the situation. In one issue, he has a sign reading "Tom - [[Straight man|Straight Man]]". One of Roger's defining features is that he will always arrive very late, regardless of if it is to a job or simply a meeting, despite Tom making desperate attempts to make sure Roger understands the importance of being on time (leading to Tom's [[catchphrase]] of "Where the Hell is Roger?"). Roger usually arrives announcing "Sorry I'm late, Tom". In one strip, Tom imagines Roger has arrived on time only to discover that it is a life-size cardboard cutout, and, on another occasion, Tom is utterly shocked as Roger arrives two minutes early - but then he wakes up. Roger and Tom have crossed over into the [[Billy the Fish]] strip occasionally before realising they are in the wrong page. They are used in other ''Viz'' strips when a reporter or narrator is needed and, on these occasions, Roger is generally (although not always) without his usual lecherous and/or violent behaviour.

On one occasion in 2006, while requiring a [[liver transplant]] (due to chronic alcoholism), Roger became a hit-and-run driver: he ran over and killed a motorcyclist without stopping, later receiving the dead man's liver for himself, then celebrating the successful liver transplant with a booze-up at the nearest pub. Sometimes the strip follows current or recent events: in a parody of the [[kidnapping of Alan Johnston]], Roger is kidnapped in [[Beirut]], but after eight days it turns out to be an attempt to seek publicity. Tom discovers that the BBC is in on the deception and reluctantly takes part by being a [[2007 British premium-rate phone-in scandal|fake phone-in contestant]] on [[BBC Radio 4|Radio 4]]. In 2011, due to recent news stories revolving around celebrities taking out [[super injunctions]] in an attempt to protect themselves from scandal, Roger goes to his crooked [[solicitor]] attempting to silence his ex-wife from releasing a book about their violent marriage which also details Roger's "questionable" hobbies. However, it emerges he is not trying to silence his wife to protect himself, but is actually releasing this information himself in a new autobiography and he does not want her to cash in before him. In 2015, following the high amount of media attention following [[Jeremy Clarkson]] punching a producer (memorably referred to as a "fracas"), the strip showed Roger entering his office just before he is due to renegotiate his contract to present ''Roger Mellie's Skidmarks'' and punching Tom in the face. As Tom attempts to recover, Roger organizes the ensuing scandal and his recovery to ensure a lucrative contract. When meeting the Director General of FTV in the cafeteria, Roger turns up drunk and is delighted to be told his show is being recommissioned for five years along with a huge salary increase. However, Roger then is told there is no hot food available (another reference to the incident with Clarkson), causing him to fly into a rage and then punch the Director General too. In another strip, Roger finally finds mainstream success by presenting ''[[Bargain Hunt]]'' only to have it ruined when a [[Michael Barrymore|dead body is fished out of his swimming pool]]. However, despite whatever misfortunes and/or scandals might befall him, Roger never learns his lesson and his TV career always remains intact.

Roger has also appeared in several other parodies of real TV shows, including a stint as presenter of ''[[Springwatch]]'' whilst [[Bill Oddie]] was in hospital after Roger had accidentally shot him. Roger's version of the show consisted of him launching live rabbits from a catapult for [[Jack Charlton]] and [[Ted Nugent]] to shoot. Usually, Roger has little success hosting mainstream shows but often suggests pornographic reworkings of well-known shows, which against all odds prove successful.<ref>{{cite web|author= |url=http://metro.co.uk/2009/10/27/roger-mellie-635655/ |title=Roger Mellie &#124; Metro News|date=27 October 2009 }}</ref>
Another episode has a considerably elderly Roger (grey/white hair and most teeth missing) having fronted ''Fulchester News'' for a considerable number of years; but he decides that he cannot arbore such a thing and gets himself a wig and a whole set of false teeth. In the last panel he is shown fronting ''Fulchester Tonight'', with the false teeth clacking dreadfully as he attempts to be much more youthful.