Editing Engagement (section)

== Betrothal ==
{{Redirect|Betrothed}}
[[File:Engagement gifts basket (01).jpg|thumb|Modern engagement gifts basket in Bangladesh.]]

Betrothal (also called "espousal") is a formal state of engagement to be [[marriage|married]].{{additional citation needed|date=June 2021}}

Typical steps of a match were the following:
* Negotiation of a match, usually done by the couple's families with bride and groom having varying levels of input, from no input, to veto power, to a fuller voice in the selection of marriage partner.
** This is not as widely practiced as it was historically, although it is still common in culturally conservative communities in [[Israel]], [[India]], Africa, and [[Arab states of the Persian Gulf]], although most of these have a requirement that the bride be at least allowed veto power.
* Negotiation of [[bride price]] or [[dowry]]
** In most cultures evolved from Europe, bride prices or dowries have been reduced to the [[engagement ring]] accompanying the marriage contract, while in other cultures, such as those on the Arabian Peninsula, they are still part of negotiating a marriage contract.
* Blessing by the parents and [[clergy]]
* Exchange of vows and signing of contracts
** Often one of these is omitted
* Celebration

[[File:Lionel Logue 1906.jpg|thumb|left|Engagement photograph of [[Lionel Logue]] and Myrtle Gruenert, 1906]]
The exact duration of a betrothal varies according to culture and the participants’ needs and wishes. For adults, it may be anywhere from several hours (when the betrothal is incorporated into the wedding day itself) to a period of several years. A year and a day are common in [[neo-pagan]] groups today. In the case of [[child marriage]], betrothal might last from infancy until the age of marriage.

The responsibilities and privileges of betrothal vary.  In most cultures, the betrothed couple is expected to spend much time together, learning about each other.  In some historical cultures (including [[colonial North America]]), the betrothal was essentially a trial marriage, with marriage only being required in cases of conception of a child.{{citation needed|date=November 2024}} Almost all cultures are loosening restrictions against physical contact between partners, even in cultures that normally had strong prohibitions against it.  The betrothal period was also considered to be a preparatory time, in which the groom built a house, started a business or otherwise proved his readiness to enter adult society.{{citation needed|date=June 2020}}

In [[medieval Europe]], in [[canon law]], a betrothal could be formed by the exchange of [[vow]]s in the future tense ("I ''will'' take you as my wife/husband", instead of "I take you as my wife/husband"), but sexual intercourse consummated the vows, making a binding marriage rather than a betrothal.  Although these betrothals could be concluded with only the vows spoken by the couple, they had legal implications: [[Richard III of England]] had his [[Princes in the Tower|older brother's children]] declared illegitimate on the grounds their father had been betrothed to another woman when he married their mother.{{citation needed|date=June 2020}}

A betrothal is considered to be a "semi-binding" contract.  Normal reasons for invalidation of a betrothal include:
* Revelation of a prior commitment or marriage
* Evidence of [[infidelity]]
* Failure to conceive (in "trial marriage" cultures)
* Failure of either party to meet the financial and property stipulations of the betrothal contract

Normally, either party can break a betrothal, though in certain traditions, a financial penalty (such as forfeit of the bride price) applies. In some [[common law]] countries, including England and Wales and many US states, it was once possible for the spurned partner (often only the woman) to sue the other for [[breach of promise]] or "heart-balm". This provided some protection in an age where virginity at marriage was considered important and having a failed engagement could damage one's reputation, but this [[tort]] has become obsolete in most jurisdictions as attitudes to premarital sex have softened and emphasis shifted to allowing people to leave loveless relationships.<ref>{{cite book|title=Introduction to Family Law|author=Nancy R. Gallo|pages=114–116|year=2004|isbn=1401814530|chapter=Left at the Altar|publisher=Cengage Learning}}</ref>

===Judaism===
In [[Jewish wedding]]s during Talmudic times (c.1st century BC – 6th century AD), the two ceremonies of betrothal (''[[Erusin (Jewish betrothal)|erusin]]'') and wedding usually took place up to a year apart; the bride lived with her parents until the actual marriage ceremony (''[[nissuin]]''), which would take place in a room or tent that the groom had set up for her. Since the Middle Ages the two ceremonies have taken place as a combined ceremony performed in public. The ''betrothal'' is now generally part of the [[Jewish wedding]] ceremony, accomplished when the groom gives the bride the ring or another object of at least nominal value.<ref>See Talmud [[Nashim|Kiddushin]], Mishna 1:1 and the main article</ref> As mentioned above, betrothal in Judaism is separate from engagement; breaking a betrothal requires a formal [[Get (divorce document)|divorce]], and violation of betrothal is considered [[adultery]].<ref>{{cite web|url=https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/465163/jewish/The-Jewish-Betrothal-Kiddushin.htm|website=/www.chabad.org|title=The Jewish Betrothal (Kiddushin)|access-date=15 August 2022}}</ref>

===Christianity===
[[File:Vanni Lippo. Betrothal of The Virgin.1360 Fresco.jpg|thumb|250px|Christian art depicting the betrothal of [[Saint Joseph|Joseph the Carpenter]] and the [[Virgin Mary]]]]
In most localities, the Rite of Betrothal (also known as "blessing an engaged couple" or "declaration of intention") as a precursor to Holy Matrimony is an optional practice in traditional forms of [[Christianity]] today that blesses and ratifies the intention of two Christians to marry one another.<ref name="ACNA2019" /> Many [[Christian denomination]]s provide liturgies for Christian betrothal, which often feature [[Christian prayer|prayer]], [[Lection|Bible readings]], a blessing of the engagement rings (in cultures in which rings are used), and a blessing of the couple.<ref name="Ac2011" /> A betrothal makes what a couple promises to one another sanctified by God and the Church.<ref name="Aabram2021" /> A Christian engagement (betrothal) ceremony, which may be followed with a party, is normative in certain parts of the world, as with the Christians of India and Pakistan.<ref name="Das2021" /><ref name="O'Brien2006" />

====Catholic Church====
Historically, betrothal in Roman Catholicism is a formal contract considered as binding as marriage, and a divorce is necessary to terminate a betrothal.<ref>{{cite web |url=http://www.askelm.com/doctrine/d870301.htm |title=Marriage, Divorce, Living Together and the Bible |first=Ernest L. |last=Martin}}</ref> Betrothed couples are regarded legally as husband and wife – even before their wedding and [[Consummation|physical union]].
The concept of an official engagement period in Western European culture may have begun in 1215 at the Fourth Lateran Council, headed by Pope Innocent III, which decreed that "marriages are to be&nbsp;... announced publicly in the churches by the priests during a suitable and fixed time so that, if legitimate impediments exist, they may be made known."<ref>[http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/basis/lateran4.html Medieval Sourcebook: Twelfth Ecumenical Council: Lateran IV 1215<!-- Bot generated title -->]</ref><ref>[http://www.utunumsint.org/lateran%20iv.htm Utunumsint.org] {{webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20060712133501/http://www.utunumsint.org/lateran%20iv.htm |date=2006-07-12 }}</ref>  Such a formal church announcement of the intent to marry is known as banns. In some jurisdictions, reading the banns may be part of one type of legal marriage.

====Protestant Churches====
The [[Lutheran]] book of ''Liturgical Forms'' includes the "Form and Manner of Betrothal in Church", which can take place in the church or alternatively, in the house of the bride.<ref name="LochnerCarver2023">{{cite book |last1=Lochner |first1=Friedrich |last2=Carver |first2=Matthew |title=Liturgical Forms |date=2023 |publisher=Emmanuel Press |pages=75–79}}</ref> This rite can be found throughout history, such as in early Lutheran liturgical texts, the Stasbourg C.O. 1604 being an example.<ref name="LochnerCarver2023"/> ''Liturgical Forms'' states that The Rite of Betrothal is seen as an "admirable practice of plighting one's troth in church, so in keeping with the holiness and importance of marital betrothal as the ''incipient marital life''."<ref name="LochnerCarver2023"/>

The 2019 [[Book of Common Prayer]], used by Anglican Christian denominations such as the [[Anglican Church in North America]], includes a Christian rite of betrothal called "A Brief Liturgy for the Signing of the Declaration of Intention" in which a Christian couple ratifies their intention before God and the Church to marry.<ref name="ACNA2019" /> During this liturgy, the following is signed and dated by the engaged couple after the [[sign of peace]]:<ref name="ACNA2019" />
{{blockquote|“We, ''N.N.'' and ''N.N.'', desiring to receive the blessing of Holy Matrimony in the Church, do solemnly declare that we hold marriage to be a lifelong union of husband and wife as it is set forth in the Book of Common Prayer. We believe it is established by God for the procreation of children, and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord; for mutual joy, and for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; to maintain purity, so that husbands and wives, with all the household of God, might serve as holy and undefiled members of the Body of Christ; and for the upbuilding of Christ’s kingdom in family, church, and society, to the praise of his holy Name. We do engage ourselves, so far as in us lies, to make our utmost effort to establish this relationship and to seek God’s help thereto.”<ref name="ACNA2019" />}}
Following the signing of the declaration of intention, the couple is blessed by the priest:<ref name="ACNA2019" />
{{blockquote|Now that ''N.'' and ''N.'' have declared their intention for a Holy Marriage, and have begun the process of pre-marital preparation, let us pray for their relationship [and for their families]. <br/> 
Almighty God, we thank you for the love of ''N.'' and ''N.'', and we ask your blessing upon them [and their families] during this time of preparation. Open their minds and hearts to one another, enable them faithfully to receive your Word and Sacrament, and help us to support them, that they may rightly prepare for their marriage. And, we pray, give us wisdom to uphold and encourage all who have been united in Holy Matrimony; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.<ref name="ACNA2019" />}}
The Lutheran Churches, the Anglican Communion, the Methodist Churches and the Presbyterian Churches have questions and responses for family members in its Rite of Betrothal, which is sometimes incorporated into the Service of Holy Matrimony itself.<ref name="Prichard2009" /><ref name="LochnerCarver2023"/>

====Orthodox Churches====
In the [[Eastern Orthodox]] and [[Oriental Orthodox]] Churches, the Rite of Betrothal is traditionally performed in the [[narthex]] (entranceway) of the church, to indicate the couple's first entrance into the married estate. The priest blesses the couple and gives them lit candles to hold. Then, after a [[ektenia|litany]], and a prayer at which everyone bows, he places the bride's ring on the ring finger of the groom's right hand, and the groom's ring on the bride's finger. The rings are subsequently exchanged three times, either by the priest or by the best man, after which the priest says a final prayer. Traditionally, the betrothal service takes place at the time the engagement is announced, though in certain localities it may performed immediately before the wedding ceremony itself. The exchange of rings is not a part of the wedding service in the Eastern Churches, but only occurs at the betrothal ceremony. Traditionally, the groom's ring is gold and the bride's ring is silver.<ref>{{cite book
 | last =Hapgood
 | first =Isabel F.
 | author-link =Isabel Hapgood
 | year =1922
 | publication-date=1975
 | title =Service Book of the Holy Orthodox-Catholic Apostolic Church
 | pages =291 ff, 604–605
 | place =Englewood, NJ
 | publisher =[[Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese]]
 }}</ref>

[[File:Les Très Riches Heures du duc de Berry avril.jpg|right|thumb|upright|The [[Très Riches Heures du Duc de Berry]] depicting a betrothal. [[Musée Condé]], [[Chantilly, Oise|Chantilly]].]]