Editing Cotton Hill (section)

===Early life and military service===
If Cotton's story is to be believed, he was born around 1927, making him about 70 in the first season of the show. In a third-season episode Hank says Cotton is 70, and in the Season 4 episode "Cotton Comes Marching Home", he states himself to be 71. Little is known about Cotton's childhood other than that he started out with a gun at an early age according to Hank in the episode "How to Fire A Rifle Without Really Trying", that he attended Fort Berk when he was very young and spent much of his childhood there as he revealed in "An Officer and A Gentle Boy", that he apparently joined the army when he was only 14 years old as revealed in "Shins of the Father", and that Cotton's mother apparently died giving birth to him, as he exaggerates in "Death Picks Cotton". Almost nothing is known about Cotton's father, except that he may have been German, as Peggy tells Bobby in the episode "Tears of an Inflatable Clown" and the only time Cotton ever himself refers to his father during the entire series is when he shouts at Hank: "You ain't my daddy, I'm your daddy!". Cotton also has an unnamed brother (Dusty's father).

Cotton was zealously proud of his military service record and his status as a war hero, although he tended to exaggerate his exploits.  He often claims to anyone who will listen that he killed "fitty [50] men" during the war.  He consistently reminded everyone within earshot about how he lost his shins during World War II:

<blockquote>"I was 14, just a little older than Bobby. But I knew [[Uncle Sam]] needed me, so I lied and signed up. We had beat the [[Nazis|Nazzys]] in [[Italy]], and they shipped me to the [[Pacific Ocean theater of World War II|Pacific theater]]. A [[Hideki Tojo|Tojo]] torpedo sent our troop ship to the bottom. I could only save three of my buddies: Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas [to [[Bill Dauterive|Bill]], [[Dale Gribble|Dale]], and [[Boomhauer]]], only one of them was from [[Brooklyn]]. Out of the sun came a Tojo [[A6M Zero|Zero]] and put fitty bullets in my back. The blood attracted sharks.  I had to give 'em Fatty. Then things took a turn for the worse. I made it to an island, but it was full of Tojos! They were spitting on the U.S. flag! So I rushed 'em, but it was a trap.  They opened fire and blew my shins off.  Last thing I remember, I beat 'em all to death with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field hospital, and they were sewing my feet to my knees." </blockquote>

He refers to the Japanese as "Tojos," deriving from war-time Japanese Prime Minister and General [[Hideki Tojo]]. He would also refer to the Nazis as "Nazzys".

Based upon Cotton's uniform in the episode "Returning Japanese", he was awarded the following military decorations:  [[Medal of Honor]], [[Purple Heart]], and [[American Campaign Medal]]. Cotton left Japan wearing the rank of Private in his own flashback while reminiscing to Hank how he had met Michiko. He was referred to as a colonel repeatedly during the series, reflecting his rank in the Texas State Guard after the war.  In the episode "When Cotton Comes Marching Home", his [[Silver Star]] is displayed in a case at the VFW. In the 12th episode of season 11, he is wearing the third class of the [[Legion of Honor]], the highest award given by the French government, who gave it to a select handful of American troops for their service in World War II.

Cotton states in a sixth-season episode that he served with the [[United States Army|U.S. Army]]'s [[77th Sustainment Brigade (United States)|77th Infantry Division]].

He has a number of war trophies that can be seen in various episodes, including a [[Prussia]]n [[Pickelhaube]] which he sometimes used to cut Hank's hair in an even bowl cut during Hank's youth, and a Nazi canoe which he claimed was "Hitler's canoe", though given his propensity to exaggerate his war stories, the actual origin of the canoe is uncertain.

The pride he has in his military service often colors his opinions of others; he has often expressed disdain for Hank's lack of service, and enjoys making fun of his son for being excluded due to his narrow urethra.  Cotton also has a tendency to exaggerate his service in the war. For example, in the episode "Cotton's Plot" he stated he killed Nazis ("Nazzys") in Munich on April 30 and Japanese ("Tojos") on May 2 in Okinawa.

He also has expressed dislike for veterans of the [[Vietnam War]], as he blames them to some degree for losing it - though he eventually accords them a measure of respect for trying their best.

{{blockquote|Sometimes, you can do everything right and still lose. It ain't your fault. You gave it everything you had - that's all I ever asked of my men. Thanks for trying, soldier... As commanding officer of the local VFW post, I would be honored to have you fellas join our organization...|Cotton Hill, to Hank & Vietnam Vet group}}

Aside from some confirmation from his war buddies, it is unknown if Cotton actually ever served in Europe, considering the 77th served in the Pacific Theater and the majority of his war flashbacks are shown to take place in the Pacific fighting the Japanese. However, documentation obtained by Peggy in ''Cotton's Plot'' did back his claim of fighting in the [[Bombing of Cagliari in World War II|Sardinia campaign]], which was mainly an air force campaign rather a battle on the ground.

'''Solomon Islands''':
Cotton was ordered to retake an airfield on the Solomon Islands. His unit was pinned down by a Japanese machine gun nest high up in a hill, so he sneaked into a fifty-five gallon barrel of sake. He held his breath until the Japanese got good and drunk, and then he jumped out and spit it all out into his Zippo (lighter). He "hibachi'd" the whole squad. ("Cotton's Plot")

'''Guadalcanal''':
In the episode "Yankee Hanky", Cotton references that he and Stinky were on Guadalcanal, and it rained for 17 days.

'''Anzio''':
On January 30, 1944, Cotton's unit attacked Anzio. They had "caught the Krauts with their pants down and their schnitzel exposed." They had taken the beach by noon, and the town by nightfall.

'''Normandy''':
Cotton said that he climbed the cliffs of Normandy with a fifty-pound ice cream maker on his back. ("Cotton's Plot")

'''Saipan''':
Cotton said that he led a platoon of men through the jungles of Sai Pan. ("When Cotton Comes Marching Home")

'''Guam''':
In 1944, in Guam, Cotton crawled through a minefield to retrieve [[Douglas MacArthur|General MacArthur]]'s corn cob pipe. ("Cotton's Plot")

'''Philippines''':
Cotton said that he served in the Philippines. ("Unfortunate Son")

'''Iwo Jima''':
Cotton spent two weeks under a pile of bodies on Iwo Jima. ("Revenge of the Lutefisk") He and Topsy show a bayonet technique Topsy used to gut a kamikaze. ("Unfortunate Son")

'''Munich''':
Cotton claimed to have fought in Munich on April 30, 1945, and probably longer, but later realized he didn't. ("Cotton's Plot")

'''Okinawa''':
On May 2, 1945, on Okinawa, Cotton invented a bayonet technique that is still used by the army today. ("Cotton's Plot")

'''P.O.W. Camp''':
Cotton was captured at an unknown time by the Japanese, and put in a bamboo rat cage. He had to eat rats, but let the last one live so he could eat its droppings. He called it "Jungle Rice", and said it "tasted fine". By September, he was skinny enough to slip through the bars, and strangled the guard with a string made of braided rat tails, and ran to safety. ("Cotton's Plot") He had also learned to stop his heartbeat, so the Japanese would stop torturing him for a moment, probably at the P.O.W. camp ("Death Picks Cotton"), and claimed that he only cried when the Japanese tore off his fingernails. ("Returning Japanese")

'''Miscellaneous''':
Cotton severed the windpipe of a German corporal with a two-foot strand of dental floss he kept in his boot. ("The Final Shinsult") He survived on a life raft by trapping rain water in his upturned eyelid. ("Cotton's Plot")