Editing Thomas R. Marshall (section)

==Humor==

Marshall was known for his quick wit and good sense of humor. On hearing of his nomination as vice president, he announced that he was not surprised, as "Indiana is the mother of Vice Presidents; home of more second-class men than any other state".<ref name = b198>Boller 2004, p. 198.</ref> One of his favorite jokes, which he delivered in a speech before his departure for Washington, D.C., to become vice president, recounted a story of a man with two sons. One of the sons went to sea and drowned and the other was elected vice president; neither son was ever heard from again.<ref>Harstad 2014, p. 46.</ref> On his election as vice president, he sent Woodrow Wilson a book, inscribed "From your only Vice."<ref name = b198/>

Marshall's humor caused him trouble during his time in Washington. He was known to greet citizens walking by his office on the White House tour by saying to them, "If you look on me as a wild animal, be kind enough to throw peanuts at me."<ref name="Bennett 2007, p. 204" /> This prompted Wilson to move Marshall's office to the Senate Office building, where the Vice President would not be disturbed by visitors.<ref name="b198" /> In response to [[Alexander Graham Bell]]'s proposal to the board of the [[Smithsonian Institution]] to send a team to excavate for ruins in [[Guatemala]], Marshall suggested that the team instead excavate around Washington. When asked why, he replied that, judging by the looks of the people walking on the street, they should be able to find buried cave-men no more than six feet down. The joke was not well received, and he was shut out of board meetings for nearly a year.{{sfn|Hatfield|1997|pp=337–343}}

Marshall's wit is best remembered for a phrase he introduced to the American lexicon. While presiding over a Senate session in 1914, Marshall responded to earlier comments from Senator [[Joseph L. Bristow]] that provided a [[Bloviation|long list]] of what he felt the country needed. Marshall reportedly leaned over and muttered to one of his clerks, "What this country needs is more of this; what this country needs is more of that" and quipped loudly enough for others to overhear, "What this country needs is a really good five-cent cigar."{{efn|The earliest newspaper article describing Marshall's five-cent cigar remark appeared in Fred C. Kelly's "Statesmen, Real and Near" column in the February 6, 1914, issue of the ''Washington Herald''. (Harstad 2014, p. 48.) Five cents is {{Inflation|US|0.05|1914|r=2|fmt=eq}}.}}<ref name="Bennett 2007, p. 186"/><ref name=g296/><ref>Keyes 2006, p. 30.</ref> Marshall's remark was popularized and widely circulated among a network of newspapers. Other accounts later embellished the story, including the exact situation that prompted his comment.{{efn| Accounts of the exact date, text, and circumstances of Marshall's five-cent cigar remarks are inconsistent, and no first-hand accounts of the event have been located. (Harstad 2014, pp. 48, 52, 54.)}} In 1922 Marshall explained that the five-cent cigar was a metaphor for simpler times and "buckling down to thrift and work".<ref>Harstad 2014, p. 54.</ref>