Editing Jewish views on marriage (section)

== Age of marriage{{anchor|Child marriage}} ==

Citing the primacy of the divine command given in Genesis 1:28, the time between puberty and age twenty has been considered the ideal time for men and women to be wed in traditional Jewish thought. Some rabbis have gone further to commend the age of eighteen as most ideal, while others have advocated for the time immediately following puberty, closer to the age of fourteen, essentially "as early in life as possible."<ref name="jewishencyclopedia.com">{{Cite web|url=http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/10435-marriage-laws|title=MARRIAGE LAWS - JewishEncyclopedia.com|website=www.jewishencyclopedia.com|access-date=2019-06-10}}</ref> Babylonian rabbis understood marriage as God's means of keeping male sexuality from going out of control, so they advocated for early marriage to prevent men from succumbing to temptation in their youth.<ref>{{cite book|author=Michael Satlow|editor1=William Horbury|editor2=John Sturdy|title=The Cambridge History of Judaism: Volume 4, The Late Roman-Rabbinic Period|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=BjtWLZhhMoYC&pg=PA1134|year=1984|publisher=Cambridge University Press|isbn=978-0-521-77248-8|pages=622–|quote=Their answer to the problem of sexual desire centered on advocating early marriage. For Babylonian rabbis, the primary goal of marriage meant channeling and controlling male sexuality.}}</ref> The ḳeṭannah (children aged three to twelve) might be given in marriage by her father, and the marriage was valid, necessitating a formal divorce if separation was desired. Some commended early marriage for its benefits: Rabbi Ḥisda maintained that early marriage could lead to increased intelligence.<ref name="jewishencyclopedia.com"/>

A large age gap between spouses, in either direction, is advised against as unwise.<ref>''[[Yebamot]]'' 44a</ref> A younger woman marrying a significantly older man however is especially problematic: marrying one's young daughter to an old man was declared as reprehensible as forcing her into prostitution.<ref>''Sanhedrin'' 76a</ref> Moreover, it is problematic for an older man to be unmarried in the first place. Marriage is held to be uniquely mandatory for men, and an unmarried man over the age of twenty is considered "cursed by God Himself."<ref name="jewishencyclopedia.com"/>

There is evidence however that in some communities males did not marry until "thirty or older."<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/2301528/jewish/Chapter-Six-The-Appropriate-Age-for-Marriage.htm|title=Chapter Six: The Appropriate Age for Marriage|website=www.chabad.org}}</ref> In medieval [[Ashkenazi Jew|Jewish Ashkenazi]] communities, women continued to be married young.<ref>''Kiddushin'' ([[tosafot]]) 41a</ref> Since the [[Jewish Enlightenment|Enlightenment]], young marriage has become rarer among Jewish communities.<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Lowenstein|first=Steven M.|date=1994|title=Ashkenazic Jewry and the European Marriage Pattern: A Preliminary Survey of Jewish Marriage Age|url=https://www.jstor.org/stable/20101195|journal=Jewish History|volume=8|issue=1/2|pages=155–175|doi=10.1007/BF01915912|jstor=20101195|s2cid=162228288|issn=0334-701X}}</ref>

=== Consent ===
According to the Talmud, a father is commanded not to marry his daughter to anyone until she grows up and says, "I want this one".<ref>Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha'ezer, 37:8</ref> A marriage that takes place without the consent of the girl is not an effective legal marriage.<ref>Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha'ezer, 42:1</ref>

A {{transliteration|he|ketannah}} (literally meaning "little [one]") was any girl between the age of 3 years and that of 12 years plus one day;<ref name="JewEncMaj">{{Jewish Encyclopedia |article=Majority |url=http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?letter=M&artid=91}}</ref> she was subject to her father's authority, and he could arrange a marriage for her without her agreement.<ref name="JewEncMaj" /> However, after reaching the age of maturity, she would have to agree to the marriage to be considered as married.<ref>{{Cite web |url=https://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/legal-religious-status-of-married-woman |title=CONDITIONS NECESSARY FOR LEGAL MARRIAGE |author=Tirzah Meacham |access-date=5 February 2020}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web |url=http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/10435-marriage-laws |title=MARRIAGE LAWS |author1=Solomon Schechter |author2=Julius H. Greenstone |access-date=5 February 2020}}</ref> If the father was dead or missing, the brothers of the {{transliteration|he|ketannah}}, collectively, had the right to arrange a marriage for her, as had her mother.<ref name="JewEncMaj" /> In these situations, a {{transliteration|he|ketannah}} would always have the right to [[Annulment|annul]] her marriage, even if it was the first.<ref name="JewEncMiu" />

If the marriage did end (due to divorce or the husband's death), any further marriages were optional; the {{transliteration|he|ketannah}} retained her right to annul them.<ref name="JewEncMiu">{{Jewish Encyclopedia |article=Mi'un |url=http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=669&letter=M}}</ref> The choice of a {{transliteration|he|ketannah}} to annul a marriage, known in Hebrew as {{transliteration|he|mi'un}} (literally meaning "refusal", "denial", "protest"),<ref name="JewEncMiu"/> led to a true annulment, not a divorce; a divorce document ({{transliteration|he|[[Get (divorce document)|get]]}}) was not necessary,<ref>Yebamot 107a</ref> and a {{transliteration|he|ketannah}} who did this was not regarded by legal regulations as a divorcee, in relation to the marriage.<ref name="Yeb108a">''Yebamot'' 108a</ref> Unlike divorce, {{transliteration|he|mi'un}} was regarded with distaste by many rabbinic writers,<ref name="JewEncMiu"/> even in the Talmud;<ref>''Yebamot'' 109a</ref> in earlier classical Judaism, one major faction – the [[House of Shammai]] – argued that such annulment rights only existed during the betrothal (not engagement) period ({{transliteration|he|[[erusin]]}}) and not once the actual marriage ({{transliteration|he|[[Nissuin|nissu'in]]}}) had begun.<ref>''Yebamot'' 107a</ref>