Editing Shiva (Judaism) (section)

==Shiva customs==
There are many traditions that are upheld in order to observe ''shiva''. Throughout this time, mourners are required to stay at home and refrain from engaging with the social world.

===Keriah===
After hearing of the death of a close relative, Jewish beliefs and traditions instruct individuals to tear their clothing as the primary expression of grief. The process of tearing the garment is known as ''[[keriah]]''.<ref>{{cite book |last=Klein |first=Isaac |title=A Guide to Jewish Religious Practice |year=1979 |publisher=Ktav Publishing House |isbn=978-0873340045 |page=[https://archive.org/details/guidetojewishrel00isaa/page/278 278] |url=https://archive.org/details/guidetojewishrel00isaa/page/278 |url-access=registration }}</ref> The tearing is done while standing and is required to extend in length to a ''[[tefach]]'' (handbreadth), or what is equivalent to about {{convert|9|cm}}.<ref>{{cite book |author=Yehudai Gaon |author-link=Yehudai Gaon|title=Sefer Halachot Pesukot |publisher=Ahavat Shalom |location=Jerusalem |year=1999 |oclc=42433185|page=425 |language=he }}</ref><ref>{{cite book |last=Maimonides |author-link=Maimonides |title=Sefer Mishneh Torah - HaYad Ha-Chazakah (Maimonides' Code of Jewish Law) |publisher=Pe'er HaTorah |volume=7 |date=1974|location=Jerusalem |language=he}}, s.v. ''Hilkot Avel'' 8:1–2</ref> Upon tearing the clothing, the mourner recites a blessing which describes God as "the true Judge". This blessing reminds mourners to acknowledge that God has taken the life of a close relative, and is seen as the first step in the acceptance of grief. The garment is torn over the heart if the individual who died was a parent, or over the chest on the right side if the individual who died was another relative. The torn article of clothing is worn throughout the period of ''shiva'', the only exception being on Shabbat.<ref name="Kolatch first">{{cite book |last=Kolatch |first=Alfred |title=The Jewish Book of Why: The Torah |year=1989 |publisher=Jonathan David Publishers |location=NY| isbn=978-0824604547}}</ref><ref name="Kolatch second">{{cite book |last=Kolatch |first=Alfred |title=The Second Jewish Book of Why|date=1995|publisher=Jonathan David Publishers |location=NY |isbn=978-0824603052 |url=https://archive.org/details/secondjewishbook00kola |url-access=registration}}</ref>

===Washing hands===
After being near or around the deceased, it is ancient custom to wash oneself, or at minimum wash one’s hands, as a means of purification. After a funeral, or visitation to a cemetery, individuals are required to wash hands as a mark of spiritual transition through water.<ref>{{cite web |title=Shiva |url=https://www.ohebshalom.org/_media/spiritual-life/documents/shiva.pdf |website=Oheb Shalom |access-date=November 30, 2019 |archive-date=April 6, 2018 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20180406230743/https://www.ohebshalom.org/_media/spiritual-life/documents/shiva.pdf |url-status=dead }}</ref> During shiva, it is especially mandatory to do so before entering the home. There are many different origins of this tradition, though the act is typically associated with symbolic cleansing, the idea being that death is impure in a spiritual sense. Within Judaism, the living is thought to emphasize value of life rather than focus on death. When washing hands after visiting the deceased, it is custom to not pass the cup of water used from person to person. The reason behind this stems from the beliefs and hopes of stopping the tragedy it began, rather than allowing it to continue from person to person as symbolized by the passing of the cup.<ref name="Lamm" />

===Meal of Condolences===

The first meal which should be eaten after the funeral is known as the ''seudat havra'ah'' ({{Hebrew Name 1|סעודת הבראה||"meal of comforting"|nobold}}). Traditionally, mourners should be served the meal of condolences by neighbors.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 205:7</ref> The act of preparing such meal is considered to be a [[mitzvah]]. Though being the tradition, if the meal of condolences is unable to be prepared by a neighbor, extended family may do so, and in the last case the mourner themselves may prepare the meal. It was seen that many times following the death of a loved one, individuals who were in mourning possessed a death wish and often attempted to undergo starvation. The meal given to them upon returning home provided warmth in order to lessen such wishes. In order to be deemed the meal of condolences, the food selections must contain several specific dishes. An example of this is bread, which is symbolic for the staff of life. Aside from this, the meal must contain hard-boiled eggs, cooked vegetables, and coffee or tea. Often wine is allowed to be served as well. The only time the meal of condolences is not served occurs when there is no public observance of mourning or if the individual died by suicide.<ref name="Lamm" />

===Candles===
[[File:Shiva candle.png|thumb|upright=0.40|A red shiva candle]]
Within Judaism, candles are symbolic of special events throughout life. They are lit during major holidays, during Shabbat, and during the process of mourning candles are required to burn for the entirety of shiva. Prior to the death of Rabbi [[Judah HaNasi]] in the third century, he instructed that a light should be kept burning.<ref>{{cite web| url = https://www.sefaria.org.il/Ketubot.103a.25?lang=bi&with=all&lang2=en| title = Ketubot 103a}}</ref> During shiva, the candle represents the deceased. The light is symbolic of the human being, the wick and flame are representative of the body and soul respectively, as well as their connection with one another.<ref>{{cite book|title=Proverbs 20:27}}</ref> Traditionally, candles are required to be made of either oil or paraffin and are not allowed to be electric. The candle is ideally burned in the home of the deceased, but exceptions can be made. Regardless, candles should be in the presence of those observing shiva. During major holidays, the candle may be moved in order to lessen the feeling of mourning and focus on the joyous occasion at hand.<ref name="Lamm" />

===Mirrors===
Individuals who are in mourning, or in a shiva home, are required to cover mirrors from the time an individual dies until the end of shiva. There are several reasons Judaism requires this. The first reason may stem from the idea that man was created in the image of God. In doing so, man acquires the same dignity and value as God. When a creation of God dies, this lessens his image. The death of human beings disrupts the connection between the living man and living God. Since the purpose of mirrors is to reflect such image, they are covered during mourning. A second reason mirrors are covered in Judaism branches from contemplation of one's relationship with God during the death of a loved one. At this time, individuals are instructed to focus on grief and mourning rather than themselves. In order to prevent selfish thoughts, all mirrors are covered within the homes of mourners. A third reason which depicts why mirrors should be covered comes from the law which states that an individual may not stand directly in front of an image or worship one. Therefore, mirrors and pictures are hidden during mourning.<ref name="Lamm" />

====Pictures====
Some have an additional custom to cover all pictures of people.<ref name="ArtScroll.MiH">{{cite book |title=Mourning in Halachah |first=Rabbi Chaim Binyamin |last=Goldberg |publisher=[[ArtScroll]] |year=1991 |isbn=0-89906-171-0}}</ref>{{rp|p.54 (3:37), p.179 (16:4)}}<ref name="Moment.SEL">{{cite book |title=A Moment in Time |year=2010 |first=Nachman |last=Seltzer |isbn=978-1-59826-636-8 |publisher=Hamodia/Feldheim}}</ref>{{rp|pp.229–230}} One reason, which is linked to the covering of mirrors (and, by some, all pictures of people too) is that prayer services are held in the house of mourning, if a quorum can be gathered, and "Jewish law clearly states that one may not worship an image or standing directly in front of one .. picture .. mirror."<ref name="Lamm" />{{rp|p.104}}

===Shoes===

Leather shoes are not permitted to be worn during the observance of shiva.<ref>{{cite web |url=https://www.sefaria.org/Moed_Katan.15b?lang=bi |website=Sefaria.org |title=Moed Katan 15b |access-date=November 30, 2019}}</ref><ref>{{cite book|title=Y.D. 380.1 and 382.1}}</ref><ref>{{cite book|title=Ibid 375:1, 376:4, 382:1 Bet Yosef}}</ref> The reasoning behind this involves a lack of luxury. Without leather shoes, an individual is able to concentrate on mourning and the deeper meaning of life. However, exceptions to this rule include pregnant women<ref>{{cite book|title=Y.D. 382.2}}</ref> and those with ailments of the feet.<ref>{{cite book|title=Orach Chayyim 614.3}}</ref><ref>{{cite book|title=Shulhan Arukh 382:2}}</ref> Aside from those observing shiva or sheloshim, guests and individuals who are not should refrain from wearing leather shoes in the home of mourners as well.

===Personal grooming===

Similar to the idea of wearing leather shoes, hygiene and personal grooming fall under the idea of the task being done for pleasure. Such acts are prohibited during the observation of shiva or sheloshim as they are seen as actions done for physical comfort.<ref>{{cite book |last=Levy |first=Yamin |title=Journey Through Grief |year=2003 |publisher=KTAV Publishing House, Inc. |location=Jersey City, NJ| isbn=0-88125-802-4 |page=98}}</ref> However, there is a fine line which separates grooming for hygienic reasons and for comfort. Therefore, in order to prevent grooming for comfort individuals who are mourning are instructed to only bathe separate parts of the body, head, and face. On top of this, cold or cool water is recommended. The use of cosmetics is not allowed as this constitutes an act done for comfort and pleasure.<ref name="YD 381.6">{{cite book|title=Y.D. 381.6}}</ref> However, the exception to this rule is a woman who is a bride, is engaged to be married, or is dating to be married.<ref name="YD 381.6" />

==="Sitting" ''shiva''===

"Sitting" ''shiva'' refers to the act of sitting on low stools during times of mourning. As mentioned in the [[Book of Job]], upon mourning, Job's friends "sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights".<ref name="Job2:13" /> Therefore, originally, individuals who were observing a period of mourning were required to turn couches or beds over and sit on the ground.<ref>{{cite book |first=Harry |last=Rabinowicz |title=A Guide to Life&nbsp;— Jewish Laws and Customs of Mourning |year=1964 |publisher=Jewish Chronicle Publications |location=London |page=60}}</ref> After time, modifications towards this rule were made. The ''[[Halakhah]]'' states that an individual is required to sit on low stools, or on the floor. The individual partakes in sitting on a low stool in order to signify their lack of concern for personal comfort during their time of mourning.<ref>{{cite book |last=Levy |first=Yamin |title=Journey Through Grief |year=2003 |publisher=KTAV Publishing House, Inc. |location=Jersey City, NJ |isbn=0-88125-802-4 |page=98}}</ref><ref>{{cite web |title=A Guide to Jewish Mourning Laws and Practices |url=http://images.shulcloud.com/618/uploads/PDFs/mourning5.pdf |access-date=November 30, 2019}}</ref>

Mourning finds its expression in the sorrow and anguish of the soul and in symbolic, external actions. Different communities have practised different customs during the actual process of "sitting" ''shiva''. [[Sephardic Jews]] no longer sit whilst draped in their [[Tallit]], but [[Yemenite Jews]] still follow the ancient Jewish custom of sitting seven days whilst draped in a Tallit.  The practice is alluded to in the [[Talmud]] (''[[Mo'ed Katan]]''),<ref>[[Babylonian Talmud]] (''Mo'ed Katan'' 15a). In [[Menachem Meiri|Meiri]]'s commentary, ''Beit ha-Beḥirah'' (''ibid''. s.v. '''אבל חייב בעטיפת הראש'''), he writes: "The mourner requires having his head covered, so that he will not remain bare-headed; his head being draped in such a way that part of his face is covered in front of his eyes, as well as below in front of his lip, so that he might appear as a man brought under submission and broken. Insofar that God has said to Ezekiel <small>(Ezek. 24:17)</small> [at a time of joy], 'Do not lay a covering upon your moustache,' we learn the reverse of what the entire world is required to do [when they are in mourning]."</ref> and in the writings of the early rabbinic authorities.<ref>{{cite book |last=Maimonides |author-link=Maimonides |title=Sefer Mishneh Torah - HaYad Ha-Chazakah (Maimonides' Code of Jewish Law) |publisher=Pe'er HaTorah |volume=7 |date=1974|location=Jerusalem |language=he}}, s.v. ''Hilkot Avel'' 5:19</ref><ref>{{cite book |author=Yehudai Gaon |author-link=Yehudai Gaon|title=Sefer Halachot Pesukot |publisher=Ahavat Shalom |location=Jerusalem |year=1999 |oclc=42433185|page=429 |language=he }}, s.v. ''Hilkot Avel''</ref><ref>[[Joseph Karo]], ''[[Shulchan Arukh]]'' (''Yoreh De'ah'' 386:1)</ref><ref>{{cite book |last=Kiara |first=S. |author-link=Shimon Kiara |title=Sefer Halachot Gedolot|editor=Ezriel Hildesheimer |volume=1 |publisher=Ḥevrat meḳiṣei nirdamim |date=1972 |location=Jerusalem|language=he|title-link=Halachot Gedolot }}, Hil. ''Avel'' (p. 439)</ref>

{{cquote|…and he (i.e. the mourner) requires uncovering his head. What is meant by uncovering the head? It is exposing the hair and exposing the head from [being covered] by his hat or his [[Sudra (headdress)|habit]], or similar things, and [allowing himself only to be] draped as the draping of the Ishmaelites, as we cite [concerning the leper] <small>(Lev. 13:45)</small>: ‘And his head shall be bare’…<ref>{{Citation |contribution=Me'ah She'arim |title=Sefer Sha'arei Simchah |last=Ibn Ghiyyat |author-link=Isaac ibn Ghiyyat |editor=Yitzḥaq Dov Halevi Bomberger |publisher=Simcha Halevi|place=Firta (Fürth)|volume=1 |year=1861 |oclc=780181558 }}, s.v. “Hilkoth Avel” (Laws concerning the Mourner), pp. 46–47</ref><ref>Cf. [[Targum Onkelos]] on Leviticus 13:45, where he writes similarly about an ancient mourner's practice of covering one's moustache with his [[tallit]]: "…and he shall cover-up his moustache like a mourner, etc." Rabbi [[David Kimchi]] writes in his commentary on Ezekiel 24:17: "The mourner requires uncovering his head, from [wearing] his hat, but drapes himself with his habit. By covering up one's moustache together with one's head, it is a sign of mourning."</ref>}}

Among [[Ashkenazi]] and Sephardic communities the practice is now obsolete, they adhering to the [[Poskim|adjudicators]] of Jewish law that have come of late (''[[Bayis Chadash|Bayit Chadash]]'', the ''[[Turei Zahav|Ṭurei Zahav]]'', and ''[[Shabbatai HaKohen|Siftei Cohen]]'') and who have canceled the custom, writing thus: "And at this time, there is no custom of covering up one's head, so that it may not lead to frivolity. In any case, the hat should be pulled over one's eyes."<ref>{{Citation |contribution=Ancient Customs of the Yemenite Jewish Community |title=Ascending the Palm Tree: An Anthology of the Yemenite Jewish Heritage|last1=Ratzaby|first1=Yehuda|editor1=Rachel Yedid|editor2=Danny Bar-Maoz|publisher=E'ele BeTamar|place=Rehovot|page=53 |year=2018 |language=en |oclc=1041776317 }}</ref> The only ones who continue to observe the custom are the Jews of Yemen.

===Place of observance===

The ideal place to observe shiva is in the home of the deceased individual. If this is not possible, the second best place is in the home of a relative close to the deceased. During the observance of shiva, individuals are generally not permitted to leave the premises. However, there are certain exceptions to this rule, including: not having enough room to house for every individual observing, the loss of another loved one, and the inability to conduct services in the home. If an individual mourning is allowed to leave the home, they must do so without disturbing others and never alone.<ref>{{cite book |last=Levy |first=Yamin |title=Journey Through Grief |year=2003 |publisher=KTAV Publishing House, Inc. |location=Jersey City, NJ |isbn=0-88125-802-4 |page=97}}</ref>