Editing Parenting (section)

===Skills and behaviors===
Parenting skills and behaviors assist parents in leading children into healthy adulthood and development of the child's social skills. The cognitive potential, social skills, and behavioral functioning a child acquires during the early years are positively correlated with the quality of their interactions with their parents.<ref>{{Cite journal|last1=Olcer|first1=Sevinc|last2=Aytar|first2=Abide Gungor|date=2014-08-25|title=A Comparative Study into Social Skills of Five-six Year Old Children and Parental Behaviors|journal=Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences|language=en|volume=141|pages=976–995|doi=10.1016/j.sbspro.2014.05.167|doi-access=free}}</ref>

According to the Canadian Council on Learning, children benefit (or avoid poor developmental outcomes) when their parents:
# Communicate truthfully about events: Authenticity from parents who explain can help their children understand what happened and how they are involved;
# Maintain consistency: Parents that regularly institute routines can see benefits in their children's behavioral patterns;
# Utilize resources available to them, reaching out into the community and building a [[It takes a village|supportive social network]];
# Take an interest in their child's educational and early developmental needs (e.g., [[Play (activity)|Play]] that enhances socialization, autonomy, cohesion, calmness, and trust.); and
# Keep open communication lines about what their child is seeing, learning, and doing, and how those things are affecting them.<ref>{{Citation |last=Maccoby |first=Eleanor E. |title=The role of parents in the socialization of children: An historical overview. |date=1994 |url=http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/10155-021 |url-access=subscription |work=A century of developmental psychology |pages=589–615 |place=Washington |publisher=American Psychological Association |doi=10.1037/10155-021 |isbn=1-55798-233-3 |access-date=2022-03-27}}</ref><ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Schuck |first1=Rachel K. |last2=Lambert |first2=Rachel |date=2020-11-05 |title="Am I Doing Enough?" Special Educators' Experiences with Emergency Remote Teaching in Spring 2020 |journal=Education Sciences |publisher=MDPI |volume=10 |issue=11 |pages=320 |doi=10.3390/educsci10110320 |issn=2227-7102|doi-access=free }}</ref>

Parenting skills are widely thought to be naturally present in parents; however, there is substantial evidence to the contrary. Those who come from a negative or vulnerable childhood environment frequently (and often unintentionally) mimic their parents' behavior during interactions with their own children. Parents with an inadequate understanding of developmental milestones may also demonstrate problematic parenting. Parenting practices are of particular importance during marital transitions like separation, divorce, and remarriage;<ref>Patterson et al. (1992){{Full citation needed|date=August 2022}}</ref> if children fail to adequately adjust to these changes, they are at risk of negative outcomes (e.g. increased rule-breaking behavior, problems with peer relationships, and increased emotional difficulties).<ref>{{Unbulleted list citebundle
|1={{cite journal |last1=Chase-Lansdale |first1=P.L. |last2=Cherlin |first2=A.J. |last3=Kiernan |first3=K.E. |year=1995 |title=The Long-Term Effects of Parental Divorce on the Mental Health of Young Adults: A Developmental Perspective |journal=Child Development |volume=66 |issue=6 |pages=1614–1634 |doi=10.1111/j.1467-8624.1995.tb00955.x|pmid=8556889 }}
|2=Hetherington, 1992{{Full citation needed|date=August 2022}}
|3=Zill, N., Morrison, D. R., & Coiro, M. J. (1993). Long-term effects of parental divorce on parent-child relationships, adjustment, and achievement in young adulthood. Journal of Family Psychology, 7(1), 91–103. {{doi|10.1037/0893-3200.7.1.91}}
|4=Bumpass, L., Sweet, J., & Martin, T. C. (1990). Changing Patterns of Remarriage. Journal of Marriage and Family, 52(3), 747–756. {{doi|10.2307/352939}} {{JSTOR|352939}}
|5=Hetherington, E. M., Bridges, M., & Insabella, G. M. (1998). What matters? What does not? Five perspectives on the association between marital transitions and children's adjustment. American Psychologist, 53(2), 167–184. {{doi|10.1037/0003-066X.53.2.167}}
}}</ref>

Research classifies competence and skills required in parenting as follows:<ref>{{cite journal |last1=Sanders |first1=Matthew R. |title=Triple P-Positive Parenting Program as a public health approach to strengthening parenting |journal=Journal of Family Psychology |volume=22 |issue=4 |pages=506–17 |year=2008 |pmid=18729665 |doi=10.1037/0893-3200.22.3.506 |citeseerx=10.1.1.1012.8778 |s2cid=23720716 }}</ref>
* Parent-child relationship skills: quality time spent, positive communications, and delighted show of affection.
* Encouraging desirable behavior: praise and encouragement, nonverbal attention, facilitating engaging activities.
* Teaching skills and behaviors: being a good example, [[Learning#Incidental learning|incidental teaching]], human communication of the skill with role-playing and other methods, communicating logical incentives and consequences.
* Managing misbehavior: establishing firm ground rules and limits, directing discussion, providing clear and calm instructions, communicating and enforcing appropriate consequences, using restrictive tactics like quiet time and time out with an authoritative stance rather than an authoritarian one.
* Anticipating and planning: advanced planning and preparation for readying the child for challenges, finding out engaging and age-appropriate developmental activities, preparing the token economy for self-management practice with guidance, holding follow-up discussions, identifying possible negative developmental trajectories.
* Self-regulation skills: monitoring behaviors (own and children's),<ref>Common Sense Parenting, Burke, 1997, p. 83</ref> setting developmentally appropriate goals, evaluating strengths and weaknesses and setting practice tasks, monitoring and preventing internalizing and externalizing behaviors.
* Mood and coping skills: reframing and discouraging unhelpful thoughts (diversions, goal orientation, and [[mindfulness]]), stress and tension management ([[Parenting stress|own]] and [[Stress in early childhood|children's]]), developing personal coping statements and plans for high-risk situations, building mutual respect and consideration between members of the family through collaborative activities and rituals.
* Partner support skills: improving personal communication, giving and receiving constructive feedback and support, avoiding [[triangulation (psychology)|negative]] family interaction styles, supporting and finding [[Hope#In psychology|hope]] in problems for adaptation, leading collaborative problem solving, promoting relationship happiness and cordiality.

Consistency is considered the "backbone" of positive parenting skills and "overprotection" the weakness.<ref>Better Home Discipline, Cutts, 1952, p. 7</ref>

The Arbinger Institute adds to these skills and methods of parenting with what the authors of The Parenting Pyramid claims are methods to "parent for things to go right," or in other words steps that should be taken to ensure good positive relationships are occurring in the home which can help children be more willing to listen. Their methods are described as The Parenting Pyramid. The Parenting Pyramid starting at the foundational level and working up to the top:

# Ways of being
# Relationship with spouse
# Relationship with child
# Teaching
# and finally, Corrections<ref>{{Cite web |title=The Parenting Pyramid |url=https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2603513-the-parenting-pyramid |access-date=2024-03-20 |website=Goodreads |language=en}}</ref>

Believing that as parents are focused on this order of establishing their homes and parenting styles, then if a parent has to encourage different behaviors from children this correction will come from a better place and therefore the children may be more receptive to such feedback, compared to if a parent attempts to correct behaviors before focusing on the previous steps.