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Natalie Clifford Barney
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==Major relationships== [[File:Olive Custance, 1902.jpg|thumb|left|upright=0.6|Olive Custance in 1902]] Despite several of her lovers' objections, Barney practiced, and advocated, [[non-monogamy]]. As early as 1901, in ''Cinq Petits Dialogues Grecs,'' she argued in favor of multiple relationships and against jealousy;{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|p=139}} in ''Éparpillements'' she wrote "One is unfaithful to those one loves in order that their charm does not become mere habit".{{sfn|Barney|1992|p=103}} While she could be quite jealous herself, she actively encouraged at least some of her lovers to be non-monogamous as well.{{sfn|Schenkar|2000|p=360}} Due in part to Jean Chalon's early biography of her, published in English as ''Portrait of a Seductress'', Barney had become more widely known for her many relationships than for her writing or her salon.{{sfn|Livia|1992|p=181|ps=. "I would be asked at dinner parties what I was working on and, replying, 'Natalie Clifford Barney,' I expected the usual post Jean Chalon response, 'What? The lesbian [[Don Juan]]?'"}} She once wrote out a list, divided into three categories: liaisons, demi-liaisons, and adventures. Colette was a demi-liaison, while the artist and furniture designer [[Eyre de Lanux]], with whom she had an off-and-on affair for several years, was listed as an adventure. Among the liaisons—the relationships that she considered most important—were Custance, Vivien, [[Élisabeth de Gramont]], Brooks, and [[Dolly Wilde]].<ref>{{harvnb|Schenkar|2000|p= 156}} and {{harvnb|Rodriguez|2002|p=298}} give slightly different accounts of this list.</ref> Many of her affairs, like those with Colette and Lucie Delarue-Mardrus, evolved into lifelong friendships.{{sfn|Wickes|1976|pp=9, 87}} ===Élisabeth de Gramont=== [[File:Elisabeth de Gramont - Nadar - 1889.jpg|thumb|upright=0.8|Élisabeth de Gramont in 1889]] Élisabeth de Gramont, the [[Duchess]] of Clermont-Tonnerre, was a writer best known for her popular memoirs. A descendant of [[Henry IV of France]], she had grown up among the aristocracy; when she was a child, according to Janet Flanner, "peasants on her farm ... begged her not to clean her shoes before entering their houses".{{sfn|Flanner|1979|p=43}} Her father's ancestors had squandered their fortune and he married into the [[Rothschild family]] after her birth; she did not have any access to her step-mother's wealth.{{sfn|Rapazzini|2005|pp=7–8}} She looked back on this lost world of wealth and privilege with little regret, and became known as the "red duchess" for her support of socialism. Encouraged by her father to wed into security, she married Philibert de Clermont-Tonnere and had two daughters. He was violent and tyrannical.{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|pp=196–199}}{{sfn|Rapazzini|2005|pp=8–10}} The poet [[Lucie Delarue-Mardrus]] introduced Barney and de Gramont in 1909 or 1910.{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|pp=197–199}}{{sfn|Rapazzini|2005|pp=8–10}}<ref>Sources differ on the year of their meeting. Jay, Rodriguez, and Souhami place the meeting in 1910 (Rodriguez says "probably"). Rapazzini says 1909, producing a letter from the [[Bibliothèque littéraire Jacques-Doucet]]'s collection of Barney material.</ref> The couple shared academic interests and attended Remy de Gourmont's salon together.{{sfn|Rapazzini|2005|p=11}} Barney wrote an unpublished novel inspired by their early relationship, ''L’Adultère ingénue'' (''The Adulterous [[Ingénue]]'').{{sfn|Rapazzini|2005|p=12}} De Gramont accepted Barney's nonmonogamy—perhaps reluctantly at first—and went out of her way to be gracious to her other lovers,{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|pp=227–228}} always including Brooks when she invited Barney to vacation in the country.{{sfn|Secrest|1974|p=138}} Though the two conducted their affair clandestinely, de Gramont's husband found them out and attempted to stop them from seeing each other.{{sfn|Rapazzini|2005|p=11}} He was unsuccessful, and he divorced de Gramont in 1920 after a period of separation.{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|pp=198–199}} In 1918 she and Barney wrote up a marriage contract stating: "No one union shall be so strong as this union, nor another joining so tender—nor relationship so lasting".{{sfn|Rapazzini|2005|pp=6–7}} The relationship continued until de Gramont's death in 1954.{{sfn|Rapazzini|2005|pp=7, 24}} ===Romaine Brooks=== Barney's longest relationship was with the American painter Romaine Brooks, whom she met around 1915.<ref>The exact date of Barney and Brooks' first meeting is uncertain. {{harvnb|Jay|1988|p=29}} says "probably... on the eve of war"; {{harvnb|Rodriguez|2002|p= 223}} puts it "around the start of the war"; {{harvnb|Souhami|2005|p=137}} says 1915; {{harvnb|Wickes|1976|p= 145}} says "probably in 1915"; and {{harvnb|Rapazzini|2005|p=17}} says October 1916.</ref> Brooks specialized in [[portrait]]ure and was noted for her somber palette of gray, black, and white.{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|p=224}} During the 1920s she painted portraits of several members of Barney's social circle, including de Gramont and Barney herself.{{sfn|Jay|1988|p=31}} [[File:Natalie Barney and Romaine Brooks.jpg|thumb|Barney and Romaine Brooks, circa 1915]] Brooks tolerated Barney's casual affairs well enough to tease her about them, and had a few of her own over the years, but could become jealous when a new love became serious. Usually she simply left town, but at one point she gave Barney an ultimatum to choose between her and Dolly Wilde—relenting once Barney had given in.{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|pp=295–301}} At the same time, while Brooks was devoted to Barney, she did not want to live with her as a full-time couple; she disliked Paris, disdained Barney's friends, hated the constant socializing on which Barney thrived, and felt that she was fully herself only when alone.{{sfn|Souhami|2005|pp=137–139, 146}}{{sfn|Secrest|1974|p=277}} To accommodate Brooks's need for solitude they built a summer home consisting of two separate wings joined by a dining room, which they called ''Villa Trait d'Union'', the hyphenated villa. Brooks also spent much of the year in Italy or travelling elsewhere in Europe, away from Barney.{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|pp=227, 295}} Their relationship lasted for over fifty years.{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|p=223}} ===Dolly Wilde=== Dolly Wilde was the niece of [[Oscar Wilde]] and the last of her family to bear the Wilde name. She was renowned for her epigrammatic wit but, unlike her famous uncle, never managed to apply her gifts to any publishable writing; her letters are her only legacy. She did some work as a translator and was often supported by others, including Barney, whom she met in 1927.{{sfn|Schenkar|2000|pp=7–14, 359}} [[File:Dorothywilde.jpg|thumb|left|upright=.9|Dolly Wilde in 1925]] Barney's support of Wilde included occasional permission to stay for a few weeks at Rue Jacob. Brooks' disapproval of the relationship increased over the years, aggravated by Wilde's presence in Barney's home. Wilde, the only of Barney's loves to share her enthusiastic rejection of monogamy,{{sfn|Jay|1988|p=32}} strove conscientiously but futilely for Brooks' favor. This culminated in Brooks' ultimatum, delivered in 1931, in which she described Wilde as a rat "gnawing at the very foundation of our friendship".{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|pp=280, 299}} Barney chose Brooks and separated from Wilde; Brooks later allowed Wilde to return and became less critical of Wilde's ways.{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|pp=300–301}} Like Vivien, Wilde was intensely self-destructive and struggled deeply with mental illness. She attempted suicide several times, and spent much of her life addicted to alcohol and heroin. Barney, a vocal opponent of drug use and alcoholism, financed [[drug detoxification]]s several times; to no avail. Wilde even emerged from one nursing-home stay with a new dependency on the sleeping draught [[paraldehyde]], then available over-the-counter.{{sfn|Schenkar|2000|pp=280–293}} In 1939, she was diagnosed with [[breast cancer]] and refused surgery, seeking alternative treatments.{{sfn|Schenkar|2000|p=269}} The following year, [[World War II]] separated her from Barney; she fled Paris for England while Barney went to Italy with Brooks.{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|p=318}} She died in 1941 from causes never fully explained; with one of the most common speculations being a paraldehyde overdose.{{sfn|Schenkar|2000|pp=37–48}} Her will, written in 1932, named Barney as her only heir.{{sfn|Rodriguez|2002|pp=323–324}}
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