Editing Tromeo and Juliet (section)

==Plot==
{{Long plot|date=November 2022}}
Set in modern-day [[Manhattan]], the film begins with the [[narrator]] ([[Lemmy]] of [[Motörhead]]) introducing two families: the rich Capulets and the poor Ques.

At the center of these families are [[Romeo Montague|Tromeo Que]] and [[Juliet Capulet]]. Tromeo lives in squalor with his poor, alcoholic father Monty and works at a tattoo parlor with his cousin [[Benvolio|Benny]] and friend [[Mercutio|Murray]]. Juliet is sequestered in her family's mansion, watched over by her abusive father [[Lord Capulet|Cappy]], passive mother [[Lady Capulet|Ingrid]], and overprotective cousin [[Tybalt|Tyrone]], all the while being sexually satisfied by family servant Ness ([[Debbie Rochon]]).

Both Tromeo and Juliet are trapped in cases of [[unrequited love]]: Tromeo lusts for the big-bosomed, promiscuous [[Rosaline|Rosie]]; Juliet is subjected into marrying wealthy [[meat]] tycoon [[Count Paris|London Arbuckle]] by her father who hopes of completing his [[mafia]] family tree.

In the meantime, an intense duel between Murray and Sammy Capulet catches the attention of [[Prince Escalus|Detective Ernie Scalus]], who gathers the heads of the two families together and declares that they will be held personally accountable for any further breaches of the peace. Almost immediately afterward, Monty and Cappy start threatening each other with weapons. Sammy, on the other hand, gets caught in the window of Monty's speeding car, where he is thrown head-first into a fire hydrant and gradually dies.

On the insistence of Murray and Benny, Tromeo attends the Capulets' masquerade ball in the hopes of meeting Rosie, only to find another man performing [[cunnilingus]] on her. Tromeo staggers around the party in disillusion until he locks eyes with Juliet. The two instantly fall for each other and share a dance until an angry Tyrone chases him out of the house.

Tromeo and Juliet continue to be enamored by one another from afar. Cappy, disgusted at his daughter's active [[libido]], forcefully imprisons her in a plastic cage as punishment. Eventually, Tromeo sneaks into the house of Capulet and the two meet once again. After proclaiming their love for each other both verbally and [[sexual intercourse|physically]], they agree to be married. Juliet breaks her engagement with Arbuckle and, with the help of [[Friar Lawrence|Father Lawrence]], the two are married in secrecy the next day.

Tyrone, upon discovering Juliet's secret affair, gathers his gang together to find Tromeo in his family's parlor and accuse him of [[bridenapping]]. Now a kinsman to the Capulets, Tromeo reassures Tyrone that Juliet doesn't want Arbuckle as her husband anymore hence announcing a truce to both families. However, Tyrone refuses to believe him. Eventually, Murray stands by Tromeo's side to try and defend his honor but is fatally wounded by Tyrone's club as an example for anyone, besides Arbuckle, who dares to seduce Juliet. Tromeo, enraged by his friend's death, pursues Tyrone and slays him (through a series of car crashes that dismember him). As punishment for the murder of Tyrone in addition to ruining Arbuckle's wedding with Juliet, Detective Scalus [[Eviction|evicts]] the Ques from Manhattan to ensure that his sacrifice won't be in vain on behalf of the Capulet family while Cappy savagely beats Juliet into reconciling with Arbuckle after learning from the late Tyrone that Juliet has already become Tromeo's wife, threatening to disown her if she doesn't. With the help of Cappy, Arbuckle accepts her re-proposal and the wedding date is set.

Eventually, Juliet goes into hiding with Father Lawrence, whom she recruited along with Tromeo, who was recently evicted from his home by Scalus along with the rest of his family. Together, the three devise a plan to clear the Que family name and end the Capulet/Que feud for good, enlisting the help of Fu Chang, the [[apothecary]], who sells Juliet a special potion which will aid her predicament.

On the day of her wedding, Juliet drinks the apothecary's potion, transforming her into a hideous cow monster (complete with a three-foot [[penis]]). The mere sight of her causes Arbuckle to leap out of Juliet's window in fright, committing suicide in the process. Enraged over the loss of his would-be son-in-law and meat inheritance, Cappy deems Juliet a disgrace to the Capulet family and sentences her to death, but Tromeo arrives just in time to chase Cappy out of her room before he can rape her to death and bring Juliet's appearance back to normal by a single kiss. Meanwhile, Cappy was forced to retreat into the parlor to get his [[crossbow]], and then returns to Juliet's room, ready to execute the newlyweds. Eventually, Juliet performs one last act of defiance against her father by electrocuting him to death with a computer monitor. After the Capulets' residence is successfully overtaken, Detective Scalus becomes impressed by Tromeo and Juliet's teamwork of ending Cappy's criminal empire, pardoning Tromeo of murder while ordering for Cappy's corpse to be transported by an [[ambulance]] to the [[morgue]] for [[cremation]].

With Cappy's criminal empire finally defeated, Tromeo and Juliet embrace victoriously until they are stopped short by Ingrid and Monty, who reveals to them the real reason behind the Capulet/Que feud: Long ago, Cappy and Monty were the owners of the successful Silky Films pornographic production company. Ingrid, married to Monty at the time, struck up an affair with Cappy, eventually birthing a son which Monty raised as his own. Faced with a divorce from Ingrid and the threat of having his son taken away from him, Monty was forced to sign over all the rights of Silky Films to the Capulets in exchange for his son. After the initial shock at the revelation that they are siblings, Tromeo and Juliet brush it off as they are determined not to let their whole ordeal be for naught; they [[incest|passionately embrace]] and drive off into the sunset.

The film picks up six years later in Tromaville, New Jersey, where Tromeo and Juliet, now married, have become suburban [[yuppie]]s with a house and ([[Inbreeding|birth defected/deformed]]) children of their own.

The film ends with the narrator's brief poem for the lovers: ''"And all of our hearts free to let all things base go/As taught by Juliet and her Tromeo"''. A brief shot of William Shakespeare laughing uproariously is shown before the end credits.